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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Had a row with partner and he smashed his phone

4 replies

AdviceNeeded453 · 01/06/2025 04:43

Hi all, first post here bit all over the shop so sorry if this doesn’t make much sense. Just needed to write it down somewhere.

Had a massive row with OH last night, I’m 29 weeks pregnant and everything feels like it’s just bubbling over. He ended up chucking his phone across the room and it smashed. Proper lost it. Then stormed out and didn’t come back for a couple hours. I was just sat here crying tbh. Baby kicking loads which didn’t help the panic.

Bit of backstory, his dad was abusive when he was growing up, to him and his mum/siblings. He doesn’t talk about it much, just bits here and there, but I know it’s had a big effect on him. He bottles stuff up big time. When he finally came back in he just said “sorry” and went straight to bed. I’m left here wide awake, can’t sleep, just going round in circles in my head.

Not even sure what I’m asking really, just feel a bit lost. Baby’s due in 11 weeks and I’m scared this is what I’ve signed up for long term. He’s not usually like this but it’s not the first time he’s lashed out (never at me physically, but still).

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 01/06/2025 05:10

The only advice you need is to get out of the relationship. It's highly unlikely this came out of nowhere and it will escalate. You can't have a vulnerable baby around an unstable and aggressive man.

Contact Refuge webchat open till 6pm today or the National Domestic Violence helpline open 24/7.

everythingthelighttouches · 01/06/2025 05:16

Do you have family or Friends around you in real life OP?

Is there someone you can go and stay with?

everythingthelighttouches · 01/06/2025 05:23

Just to add to what the previous poster said, if you are constantly surrounded by aggravation (you said everything is bubbling over, so I have the impression there is a lot of tension right now), I’m afraid when a baby comes into the house, this is only going to get worse.

Please speak to someone in real life about this now.

This does not need to be your life.

GildedRage · 01/06/2025 05:26

He needs to learn better coping strategies.
You need to be safe, as will the baby.

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