Tips on dealing with loneliness?

[LastPostISwear]

Not sure if it’s just general depression/anxiety, but I miss DH so bad I feel like I can hardly breathe. He’s away on his own trip right now. I need to pack and finish cleaning but I can’t make myself leave his side of the bed (which smells like him.) I’m not gonna see him for another 15 days at least; I don’t know how I’m gonna survive this. I’ve done it every year for the past 7 years but this time just feels different.

SOS?

I haven’t been sleeping well at all and hardly eating the last couple of days, either. I’ve lost a couple pounds without meaning to. Just feeling super down and alone

Hello, sorry to hear that - what’s he away doing? Do you have kids, friends, family that occupy you while he’s away?
You always miss him this bad or is it just this year for some reason?

I've had a pretty lonely life, so I've got some go-to things:

• having a list of people I like: I've had this in various forms for years, just a little list of people who I like spending time with or chatting to. When I'm down I take out five minutes to send messages to one or two of them to make plans to meet up or have a phone call and then I've got some human interaction to look forward to. It doesn't help in the moment though, so here are some other things for when you can't meet with someone >>
• I have some hobbies which don't leave me feeling lonely, for me they are cycling and bouldering, but you'll maybe find it's something else for you. I think these ones work for me because they get me out the house and occupy enough brain space to keep me from thinking about the fact I'm alone and they can be done solo easily
• radio / podcasts: having something playing in the background at home helps quite a lot
• puzzles: logic puzzles, word puzzles, ribik's cube, playing games like go or chess

My DH passed away just before Christmas. To keep going, I have routines in place. I eat at roughly the same time, I walk my dog twice a day, I make myself do some housework most days, I spend some time pottering in the garden.

Having a routine is what helps me and trying not to over think things.

Ok that’s good then OP. Not really sure why your post is written like advice from AI but there’s some good tips in there. Maybe add some exercise/outdoors time?

Spending time with his eldest DD in Portugal, while I go away for work.

I dropped the dogs off yesterday, and today I dropped my DD off with my mum. We had a nice lunch and then parted ways.

There’s no one else here but the fish, now. This year seems particularly bad.

We both travel a lot so can empathise being away from loved ones. Like others I advocate for routine - I make a tick list on my phone of things to do to keep me busy - everything from household tasks to sorting cupboards, learning something new or doing something mindful. A new TV box set with a few series can also be helpful! Or an old one, which can be comforting. Also don’t forget to eat!

Thanks. Maybe I will try to get some sleep and put a podcast on tomorrow while I pack, so at least there will be human voices instead of just the fish tanks bubbling in my ears.

Before we had DC, when DH went away for conferences or his hobby, I'd have a plan that made the time enjoyable, and even a little self indulgent. I still use these to a point, even though I have DC now.

-No cooking & would settle in with a simple meal & watch a show DH didn't like (after DC go to bed these days!).
-Read a good book and let the outside world slip away
-Visit friends, parents, stop to get a few bits at the shops & browse a little
-Go for a walk - there's always someone to say good morning to!
-Research next holiday

It doesn't matter what you do, but just find things to fill it that give you a little indulgence & fill the time so you're not staring at the walls.

Podcasts, podcasts, podcasts!