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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

advice for overcoming relationship issues

4 replies

justtryingherbest · 31/05/2025 22:47

long story short. there’s been a lot of struggles the last year, partner has always enjoyed a drink but it started becoming an issue. he got himself into a pretty dark place, didn’t know where or how to get help. distanced himself from me and everyone. i found out he’d been enquiring with prostitutes but not sure whether he went or not. we split in january but still obviously really care about each other, i miss him. still love him as 10 years together doesn’t just go away!

but can relationships ever overcome betrayal?! i’m not exactly looking for hope, just maybe some truths/experiences.

OP posts:
itsnotalwaysthateasy · 31/05/2025 23:19

If you're not married, I would leave.
This relationship sounds far too complicated. Go and find a nice man.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 01/06/2025 06:09

It's not uncommon for women to stay with self absorbed, drunk, philanderers. Sunk cost fallacy and all that.

How long has he been in a 'dark place'? How long has he been a heavy drinker/alcoholic? How long has your relationship been struggling?

Regarding paying for sex. It tends to be a lifelong habit and they all say they were just window shopping. Get an STD test.

DarkForces · 01/06/2025 06:13

He's an alcoholic cheat. I don't think there's any overcoming that I'm afraid. Cut all contact and focus on recovering from this relationship. Good luck

MixedBananas · 01/06/2025 06:24

Personally not an option for me to reconnect. Would grieve the loss and move on and not waste anymore time.

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