Should I expect that my partner if 17 years, lets me know that he has agreed to be guarantor on a rental.

[FirstThing]

We live together in my house, both work. He is semi retired.

DS’s son, mid 30’s. Doesn't work.

DP has agreed to be guarantor on a rental for his son.

Part of me thinks, nothing to do with me, if his DS doesn't pay the rent, DP will have to.
Other part of me feels that as we live together, have a bit of a history, with tensions around money and his DC’s, that he should have mentioned it.

Our finances are separate. He pays a small sum towards the bills here plus other luxuries like holidays, some bits of furniture and his sky package.

You have separate finances so no, I don't think an upfront conversation was needed. He obviously has now mentioned it, or you wouldn't know.

I've no idea why women live with men who don't contribute equally (other things like SAHD etc aside). I'd feel like I was living with a teenage boy.

Thanks, so many responses and views. Never easy is it!

I will try and clarify.

DP lives with me and our daily financial arrangements are not a cause for concern. Arrangements suit us both. The amount he pays, plus other luxuries are fine. I get to keep my own house too, rather than buying something together.

We are financially stable, good savings, good pensions due. Wills agreed and in place so that our wishes are carried out regarding our respective and each others DC’s.

DP’s son chooses not to work. The benefit system pays his rent. Frustratingly, the guarantor role enables him to continue to do this, I assume.
DP could afford to pay DS’s rent if he had to.

He hasn't had a conversation with me, another of his DC’s mentioned it. It was quickly covered!

We have had conversations about our differing views on financial support for our DC’s. Neither of us is ‘right’ just different views around loans and financial support. I thought we had resolved it!

I too have been guarantor for my DC’s at uni, but not as fully grown, independent adults.

You're basically funding this.

It’s his son, his guarantee. Don’t stress

Grr, just read your update.

We e been married for 40 years. I don't think I discussed it with him, I suppose I might have mentioned it but he must have realised they needed a guarantor it would be one of us. GS was living with us for years before uni so the same thing really.

Well, it would be nice if it came up in conversation, but your finances are separate and you aren’t married and he doesn’t even contribute much, so I can see how he would think it was a personal financial matter as not really impacting you.

Maybe, but that isn't how it is. We have had quite a few conversations, as I mentioned above, about our views on money and our respective children. We have come together to agree wills, based on the current financial situatWills

Just disappointed.

But no, financially it doesn't impact on me as I have been assured above that any credit reference would be on my DP not my address.

Just coming back to this.

Defending my DP, no not a cocklodger. Spending thousands on holidays for us both, nights out, doing the food shopping, he has purchased and runs a large family car which we use. I am happy with the arrangement.

I have no mortgage on my house any longer and so outgoings are fine.

His DS on the other hand…frustrating and a waste of his life…get a job!