Am I right to be suspicious?

[Yatzydog]

DH had an affair 2 years ago with a woman from the local pub. It lasted a month or so. I really like this pub. Me and DH have worked on mending our relationship. I thought that we are actually stronger afterwards.

Anyway, affair partner works occasionally there on Saturdays. We still go to the pub. But about a year and a half ago, DH suddenly refuses to go there on a sat night because she might be there and it makes him feel awkward. I said I don't care. We wouldn't interact with her at all. But he refused point blank. Therefore we would go somewhere else.

Once when I went to a friend's place on a Saturday night, I discovered that he had gone to this pub by himself. Also, she now has a boyfriend and DH has decreed it okay to go to this pub because of the new boyfriend.

Something happened between them again didn't it? Or am I just being paranoid? Or a pathetic idiot?

Ah mate that is shit. How did you find out he went on his own and did he own up to the affair?

I don't think you are being paranoid at all.
Yes something probably happened between them again.
And I can't see how your marriage can ever recover when this woman looms so large in both your thoughts.

We went in the pub the next day and asked for a certain beer. The guy behind the bar jokingly said to DH you drank it all last night. Otherwise I would never have known.

Yes, you are right. I was totally prepared to forget and ignore her. DH was not apparently.

Thanks. All I really wanted was confirmation that I am not crazy. I feel like I am.

What did you say to DH about it? And how did he react?

I think that the man behind the bar saying that was giving you a heads-up covertly, to let you know that something's been going on still. That must have been so hurtful, I'm sorry your husband is a piece of shit.

Truly, myself, I would leave him. He's soiled the marriage, he's a disrespectful liar. He won't change. He's offering you a very poor approximation of love. You don't have to accept it.

You could move forwards, centre yourself and eventually have peace and a great life without this loser.

Sorry I think he went on his own hoping to reconcile, he’s heard about her new bf and now it’s ok to bring you, hoping it will get to her.

You can't/don't trust him and with good reason. If the bartender knew about your husbands affair he may have been giving you a heads up.

Has he put any effort at all into helping you regain your trust in him?