Hubby accused me of going through his phone

[Flowertots27]

Hi I’m new here, long time lurker!

So last night my husband had a bath and whilst he was in the bath he asked me order some dinner, but told me I’d have to move some money around in his bank account first (not unusual, he often says to pop into his banking app or whatever to do this) so I go into his bank and transfer the money then I use my phone to order dinner.

Fast forward half an hour later, I get out of the shower and walk into the bedroom only for my husband to then ask me if I had been on Facebook on his phone. I told him I hadn’t, I’d only been into the banking app. Why on earth would I go through his Facebook? His reply was “well you don’t need to sneak about, I’m not upto anything” I again repeated that I hadn’t been on his Facebook or any other app than the banking app. He clearly didn’t believe me and began laughing which actually wound me up. He said “well my phone shows me what apps have been opened and Facebook was opened but I haven’t been on since yesterday so explain that”

Long story short we ended up in a big row because I was hurt that he didn’t believe me - he took me being hurt as GUILTY and he was furious, And quite frankly I’m devastated he would think that of me and now I feel like he doesn’t trust me. After he’d calmed down he said to just forget about it but now there’s this niggling feeling in me. Why wouldn’t he believe me? I’m not a liar, I have never given him reason to think I don’t trust him, nor has he ever given me reason to not trust him. So what the hell is this all about!?

and just to be clear, I really don’t go through his Facebook lol! I’m just quite confused. My husband isn’t really the “talk through stuff” type. So I’m just left scratching my head. Shall I just let it go?

Well I think you should be concentrating on the reason as to why he was so worried that you might have gone through his Facebook account.

It sounds as though he has something to hide and was going through the classic cheaters ploy of accusing his wife/ partner of doing something wrong when really his own behaviour is suspect

Don’t try to make him believe you, he’s made up his mind or he’s playing games.

Personally I’d say
’if only you were that interesting.’
But perhaps not the best response.

Why did he check what apps you were on? What is he worried about? “I’m not up to anything” would indicate to me that he might actually be up to something .

Here we go. Cue the wails of he must be having an affair….

Yup. This is is what they do.

Hmm strange. Perhaps you accidentally clicked on it without realising? Or maybe he did but didn't realise. Unless there are other red flags, I'd maybe let this go for now but keep an eye on things. I wouldn't expect someone to normally have that kind of reaction if they have nothing to hide, though. Bit strange!