Slept with a man who said he was single.........Gutted

[notcrazyasyet]

In 2022 I was very much single, I was on a dating app and matched with a chap who said he was very much single. We were together for a number of months until alarm bells rang that he was unavailable at weekends.
I ended it, I was suspicious and also wanted better for myself. I did some digging and it turns out he was living with a woman from before lockdown and this week he has got married to her.
I feel gutted not for me but for this poor woman who obviously believes his lies. He's disgusting. I feel so guilty and also very annoyed with myself.

You didn't do anything wrong though so let go of the guilt. You broke it off when you became suspicious.

Are you stalking him and how do you know about his wedding?

I'm sorry for you that you were used in this way but that's men for you. You did nothing wrong and he's a piece of garbage. There's nothing you can do to help his poor new wife but she'll probably find out the hard way what a creep he is. You have nothing to feel guilty about - angry yes - guilty no.

Now you know to do the digging when you first start dating.

Rule #1 Check him out. Google, social media, ask friends, do not pass go without doing this.

This is not a foolproof method unfortunately. If people want to hide who they are they will. It’s easy to do.

Hell No not stalking him. On half term this week and just looked him up out of curiosity. Saw pics of them going back to 2019 and that he had married this week.

You did nothing wrong. You acted in good faith at the time and ended it as soon as you became suspicious.
Try to leave this in the past and I hope you’ve met someone nice, or will do soon x

If someone is determined to deceive, as this person was, they hide their tracks. Blame doesn’t attach to the OP.

You definitely did nothing wrong . I’ve just had a similar experience. He was only texting at certain times and total radio silence at weekends . My gut instinct was right and he’s married . The last time he messaged me I told him to delete my number and never contact me again . Some men are just slippery little suckers 😂😂

Agreed it's not foolproof. But it's a good start and will catch the less stealthy cheaters.

Unavailable every weekend for months, doesn't want to go out in public, don't meet many friends or family, there's all sorts of tells.

I'm concerned that this is still an issue for you 3 years later. I suggest you get counselling.

Sounds like the OP checked him out on social
media.
you never checked anyone out on SM?
it’s hardly stalking.