Relationship on the Rocks

[KTeachMom]

It’s been almost a year since my husband and I have been intimate. We have had a lot happen I. Our past with our relationship and we seem to always be in this cycle of things are good then not, this however has been by far the worst it’s been. We are practically roommates living in the same house. I’ve slept separately on the couch for almost a year and to be honest it works because I have odd sleeping patterns. I want to get a bed for the spare room, but he won’t let me. I’m tired of sleeping on the couch but so t want to sleep in the marriage bed.

Get a bed for the spare room. Why does he get to veto that? Do you have money of your own?

Or just file for divorce.

Just buy the bed. It is your home and you should be sleeping on a bed.

Get the bed

We were separated years ago before when our child was young and I won’t do it again. I’ll stay together for our daughter. I have accepted how things are, he has not.

Buy the bed whilst you organise a divorce.

Any reason to stay in stalemate?

Do not stay with such a man for the supposed sake of your daughter. Whose sake are you staying for really because I would say it’s not hers, more your own. Familiarity also breeds contempt. What do you want to teach her about relationships, what is she learning here?. Be brave here and make the break.

She will not say thanks mum for doing that to her and it’s a terribly heavy burden to place upon her. Do not do this to yourself or to her.

Sleeping on the sofa too can lead into developing back problems.

Just get a bed for the spare room.

But I'm not sure staying together "for your daughter" is s great plan.

After all, what will you be teaching her about relationships? It doesn't sound like a great example.

I suppose I am looking at from the perspective of not having her be separated from me, as she is very connected and always has been. Although we live together I am the primary care giver all day everyday. I know it would be difficult if she didn’t have me everyday.

You'd both get used to it.

Separating and co patenting amicably is a healthier environment fir your DD to grow up in rather than a home where her parents have no affection for each other.

As ahe gets older she’ll know and she’ll set your indifference to each other as her bar for her own relationships.

And buy a bed ffs - why does he call the shots about his comfortable your sleep is? He’s not the boss of you - just get one delivered!

I thought if we didn’t argue or fight and still did family dinner and family vacations and such it wouldn’t be detrimental to her in the long run. Suppose I was, am, wrong

You are setting your daughter up for terrible future relationships. She will think a loveless marriage is normal. So sad and quite short sighted.
Better to have 2 happy homes than 1 sad home.