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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

CMS- moving to collect and pay

3 replies

BookArt55 · 28/05/2025 22:27

Just wanted to clarify this because I still find the whole CMS thing difficult.

Dad didn't pay April CMS. He had been late the month before, so I reported both to CMS thinking it wouldn't go anywhere but more as a log it as he likes to not tell the truth. Post separation abuse has been an interesting one so I have learnt to keep records of everything or it tends to come and bite me later.

CMS contacted him and changed from direct pay to collect and pay. He then paid April directly to me with a lot of threats, guilt tripping etc.

Now CMS has notified me that the next payment is due at the end of July. So dad will not pay for his children May and June.

Does that sound correct with the CMS rules? My family are adamant i should call and query it. But my gut tells me that will just be the way CMS do it.

Now I understand that I shouldn't be relying on his money because it isn't a given... but it is money that will be missed. I suppose I should just be grateful for anything, but it is frustrating while he still lives in the jointly owned home and me and the kids are extremely lucky to be living with my parents... or I don't know where we would be. I can't afford to take him to court to push for the house to be sold, while he is a high earner buying swimming pools... sorry, rant over.

Any advice?

OP posts:
BookArt55 · 28/05/2025 22:37

I should add that when logging the late March payment I showed evidence that he paid and how late.
As soon as he paid in April after CMS contacted him, I sent evidence that he had paid and the date.
He tried to get it changed back to Direct Pay from what I can see when I log in, but that was rejected.

OP posts:
mammat72 · 09/08/2025 01:28

the cms take it from whenever you applied or reported it i think. seems odd that they are missing two payments and i would query it. the fact he missed payments meants they will not let him go back to direct pay and it will stay with the cms sorting so they will add 20% onto his payments and take 4% from your payment. also you should be able to get legal aid to be able to get him to sell house. by law if you have young children he is meant to keep roof over their heads until 16/18 and he move out. if he earns 6 figures just keep to through cms and never talk on phone (thats how they love to abuse you) keep everything through either text or parenting app that way it limits the abuse

Springley · 09/08/2025 02:30

When my kids dad did this they said they gave him a 'grace period' which he could opt for. No prizes for guessing that he opted for that.

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