Sibling problem

[KatieDD]

Younger sibling (aged 23) has been kicked out of home by mother and her new boyfriend for taking the piss basically, running up phone bills, music too loud etc, has been in and out of jobs, agency construction stuff for past 2 years, has 2 kids with nutter girlfriend who has had him charged with assult (he actually didn't do this but put himself in the situation where he allowed the girl to manipulate him after everyone told him not go near without witness', has a crown court appearance pending in the next month or so).
Anyway not wanting him on the streets we took him in, he is on bail. We can just about afford to feed him so it's not about money or anything but he is doing nothing about his situation in terms of job hunting, which is one of the reasons mum kicked him out, he's sat in the living room now playing football manager watching tele having made an appointment with an agency for this afternoon, he considers that to be enough for one day.
Yesterday he did * all but sit around, the day before signed on but did nothing else. I really am trying to be understanding and helpful but he's doing my head in after only 6 weeks.
People have tried talking to him before and i'm now torn between doing things for him, applying for flats etc or kicking him up the arse (not out would never do that but giving him some sort of deadline maybe)

kick him up the arse.

my sister lived with me for two summers while on break from Uni and it was hell. The second time it nearly ripped the whole family apart and almost completely destroyed my relationship with her.
In the end i had to throw her out, it was just impacting too much on my life (all of it, my relationship with my dp, my social life etc)....it wasn't easy having to be so tough on her but several years down the line i still don't regret my decision. We are now closer than ever and she admits she was awful during that time and i did exactly the right thing.
I've learnt the hard way that i cannot help my sister, it always gets thrown back at me. If i do try and help her (tried to help get accomodation when her relationship broke down) then i'm interfering.....if i don't help then she is being left to cope on her own, no-one cares etc.....
I leave her to her own devices now, she is 29 in a couple of weeks......i know she is more than capable of looking after herself, she did so for three years at Uni.
I'm not sure how you're going to deal with this but i hope you can sort it without too much upset.

Katiedd,

Re your comment:-

"People have tried talking to him before and i'm now torn between doing things for him, applying for flats etc or kicking him up the arse (not out would never do that but giving him some sort of deadline maybe)"

I would also kick his backside - enabling him as you are currently doing only shields him from the consequences of his actions. Doesn't do you any good either, his behaviours certainly will not change. Do NOT do anything more to enable him; certainly do not apply for flats!!.

If you do set a deadline you must stick to it to the letter. Do not give him for instance a deadline of six weeks, it needs to be more like three days. You've had six weeks of his nonsense; time to get tough now.

Your good nature is being taken advantage of and freeloaders like him will milk this for all its worth. You get nothing in return from helping such people; they don't actually want to be helped. If you really want to help him he must learn to stand on his own two feet; he is not your problem or responsibility ultimately.

Stop enabling him!!!.

Thanks hun,
Everyone says the same, I do have to keep him with me until after court but then he is either working or out the door.
He's been out and registered with a few agencies today so fingers crossed.