Name change for this as really unsure and also quite embarrassed. Especially as I feel i know the consensus on this one but more need it for my own peace of mind.
So I met someone on OLD, I had never done it before but did a lot of reading online and on here about what to look out for. I got out of a LTR last year and went online to see what it's about. Anyway I met a really nice man, we get on so well, really like something clicked I hadn't felt before (didn't say anything to him i just felt it) anyway he did tell me when he gets overwhelmed with things in his life he can get distant, that's fine I get it and I have the same tendencies too sometimes, we laughed constantly and still do when were together.
Anyway I have felt him for the past 1-1.5 weeks pulling away, he told me something what was going on in his life (he went into details but I don't think I need to here) and it's stressing him out but the distance he is creating is really quite big, I feel like I am instigating most of the conversations and at times actively being ignored (like a few times I've asked him if he wants to call I have a child and he's so understanding that I can't always talk until later) I feel like he is happy to meet at his for us to order food and watch a film but since the first few times we haven't gone out. Seriously I feel like we're just friends now rather than building anything more. I want to have that conversation with him rather than just distancing myself as he told me about the issue he has when he is overwhelmed, I'd rather say something along the lines of "I told you I would always be honest, and the level of effort is not what I was anticipating, I feel rejected and I think we step back and just be friends" the problem is the bloody connection we have when were together its something else but I think i need to set my expectations and that this is not what I want.
I know this may sound dramatic but after my LTR broke down I defined what I wanted and what I believe I deserve and frankly I feel like I am not even getting the basics despite my stupid brain thinking it maybe something good...I suppose this is the downfall to opening yourself up to other people and something I need to deal with.
My other option is just step back, if he makes an effort great but if not I feel like an absolute cow for not saying something when I know he is dealing with things and putting him in an unfair position and tbh that's not me I'd rather be honest and open with my feelings, that's the worst that can happen he rejects me? Especially when I already feel that anyway but at least i will know.