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Original poster

Co parenting and ex partners

33 replies

Ash2345f · 27/05/2025 12:50

I have been with my partner for around a year and a half and we live together we have a child each from previous relationships. Yesterday he was nearly caught up in a suspected terrorist incident. He had been drinking alcohol as well so was a little drunk by the time this had taken place. He rang me to let me know he was okay. He then rang his ex partner whom he has a child with and other family members. His ex partner then text him and he has text back saying he was okay etc. Am I being unreasonable in thinking a text would have been sufficient to his ex partner to reassure her given they have a child together and she may have been worried. I do feel a call is quite personal and worry is there something more around this has it evoked a deeper emotional response/attachment. Really interested in people’s thoughts around this.

OP posts:
Hopingtobeaparent · 28/05/2025 07:10

Ilovelurchers · 28/05/2025 00:57

As others have said, totally normal. I would ring dad's dad in these circumstances and expect the same from him.

When you have a child together, basically you are family and always will be.

I do understand you being insecure, of course - this can happen to all of us. But I hope these responses will reassure you that his actions were normal.

If you find yourself triggered like this a lot, it may be worth seeking some counselling, so that it doesn't harm your relationship.

Good luck.

Kindly, this. And to echo what someone else has said about it’s a good thing that he has a good relationship with the mother still. That’s a lot easier to navigate than a bad one, and better for their child too.

BlueFlowers5 · 28/05/2025 08:20

People with children together and subquently shared grandchildren, will need to be in regular touch over their lifetime.

Blades2 · 28/05/2025 09:34

If they have a good coparent relationship then I see absolutely no issue. That’s his other child’s mother, either learn to live with her being in your life and them communicating or find a man with no children.

KombuchaForever · 28/05/2025 10:11

It wasn’t a terrorist attack

AliBaliBee1234 · 28/05/2025 10:44

I disagree with most people here. I would never have thought to phone my ex, a text would have been fine.

Whatado · 28/05/2025 10:59

Considering the circumstances and the fact it was absolutely everywhere no I don't think it's a red flag.

The fact you are living together with two kids within 18 months of being in a relationship is the bigger issue in your post.

The reason you think it's a red flag is because you don't feel secure in your relationship. 18mths is absolutely no time to really know someone, move in together and deal with all of the emotional baggage that comes with being a blended family.

The fact this even registered with you considering what happened high lights that.

FOXYMORON1707 · 29/05/2025 08:29

Suspected Terrorist attack? What When? The one in Liverpool was quickly outed as a white man in his mid 50’s. An isolated incident non terrorist related.

Profpudding · 29/05/2025 08:59

FOXYMORON1707 · 29/05/2025 08:29

Suspected Terrorist attack? What When? The one in Liverpool was quickly outed as a white man in his mid 50’s. An isolated incident non terrorist related.

There are narrowly avoided terror attacks plotted daily in the UK and Europe.
It happened that that wasn’t one of them doesn’t mean they couldn’t have been 100 others if it wasn’t for the place intelligence, don’t imply that these are rare occurrences

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