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Is this wrong?

14 replies

alway · 26/05/2025 23:12

is this wrong? me and my husband have been married a long time, we are going through a very hard time. We are not getting on at all and to be honest I don’t want to have sex with him, which causes more stress, arguments and tension. Usually it’s just easier to just have sex and avoid the arguments and stop being pestered. But because I am not mentally there it makes the sex really bad, which is making things worse. So we were about to have sex, it had been a good day but the overall context of been in a bad place in the relationship was the same. he blindfolded me and then a couple of seconds in I got a bad feeling, I took the blindfold off looked round and he quickly hid something behind his back, I asked what it was and he showed me it was his phone, he was going to film, I felt annoyed that he hadn’t asked but he shrugged it off and said I would have said no, it makes me feel uneasy that he planned the blindfold so he could film . We have been married a long time but I still feel a bit violated

OP posts:
WhatWasPromised · 26/05/2025 23:15

Yes it’s very very wrong on many levels.

The breach of trust would be huge to me but I also wouldn’t be able to stop wondering if he’d done it before

WhatWasPromised · 26/05/2025 23:15

Do you not think it’s wrong OP?

AndyouWILLATONE · 26/05/2025 23:19

Wow, I wouldn't get over this.

Fruitbat99 · 26/05/2025 23:20

This is just disgusting. Oh and coercing someone into sex is rape

HuffleMyPuffle · 26/05/2025 23:22

You don't even want sex, let alone being filmed (presumably for revenge porn/blackmail reasons)
It's not OK, no

TimeForTeaAndG · 26/05/2025 23:23

Ew!!!

Stop having sex you don't want and tell him to fuck off with the pestering. He'd rather have shit sex you're not enjoying than work on making the marriage better so you both actually might enjoy it?

Divorce him. He is sleazy and doesn't respect you nor your consent.

2024onwardsandup · 26/05/2025 23:28

I would leave immediately

whatcoulditbee · 26/05/2025 23:29

Absolutely unacceptable.

Hoohaz · 26/05/2025 23:29

Doing something like that without consent would be a massive deal breaker for me. Sex should be an act of love and trust.

He shrugged it off and said I would have said no
He knew you wouldn't want to do something and so did it anyway? As if your consent is optional. You know that's not right.

Fruitbat99 · 26/05/2025 23:32

And it's actually illegal to film someone without their consent. Its not optional.

ClaudeShowers · 26/05/2025 23:38

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alway · 26/05/2025 23:40

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no

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 26/05/2025 23:42

Good God no wonder you don't to have sex with him. He's vile!

Danioyellow · 26/05/2025 23:44

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