AIBU to end things so soon?

[Oreocake24]

Hi ladies

I’ve been dating for around one year now, only been on a handful of dates and had one fling. This is all following a split from DDs father and taking time out to myself to heal etc.

Ive been talking to this guy for quite some time and we’ve been on 4 dates. He’s lovely but quite immature, still lives at home and big on partying/drinking.

he hasn’t asked any questions about my DD which is a big red flag to me. I’ve mentioned a couple of times that I’m a mum first and foremost and that’s the most important thing to me, but still nothing.

I’ve mentioned it to my close friends and family and they’ve all said that I run at the first sign of something wrong and that I need to give people a chance. They’ve also said that I can’t afford to be so picky given I’m a single mum now.

this guy is lovely in his own way and I’m sure he does care about me in his own way, but something just feels off. There’s never any compliments or gentlemanly behaviour (again my friends have said to look past this as this is just standard practice of the dating world now).

im really not sure if im being unreasonable and looking to end things so soon. Especially when it seems to be a pattern with me and dating, i do seem to get to 3 dates in and then decide that person just isn’t right for me. That said, I’ve only got to 3 dates with 2 people.

has anyone else experienced this?

I would say when you’re talking about sharing lives, the people in them and the secrets of your heart you should absolutely be as picky as you want!

Why are they so keen for you to compromise? Why is it important to them that you accept behaviour that you don’t think agreeable or appropriate?

Someone’s priorities are a bit off, I don’t think it’s yours.

You should be picky and have high standards, of course.

If you aren't feeling it with this person, move on.

As to whether you'd expect him to ask lots of questions about your child, I'm also a single parent dating and I'd say no. Although I'm upfront on my profile and in conversation about having kids, I rarely discuss them with dates for a few reasons. Most importantly, they are getting to know me, and I'm not interviewing them as a "dad for my kids". Also it could seem creepy if a man was too interested in finding out all about them.

Also, especially if they aren't a parent themselves, its not the most interesting topic of conversation and it can lapse in to me blathering on about the kids.