Adult son constantly moody

[Middleagelady]

Just that.
My mid twenties adult son is always so moody.
I feel he’s had a good childhood, husband and I are very happy, 30 years happily married. Hardly any arguing. 2 adult sons.
Youngest son a lot more happy and communicative.
Eldest Adult son been with GF 7 years he’s just spent 3 days at her house comes home in a terrible mood. We’ve not seen him all weekend. They haven’t done much by the sound of it.
We ask if he’s ok . Says yes but then constant eye rolling, huffing when we speak. Snapping when we speak. Immediately brought the mood down as soon as home.
He’s ruined my Bank Holiday as we’ve asked what up. Says he’s tired.
Tiredness is no excuse for such moodiness, just had a BH weekend off his job so why is he so tired ??.
Im at a loss what to do.
This has been ongoing for a. Long time on and off.
He’s 25.
Good job, GF 7 years. Small Uni debt.
We’ve supported him through Uni and into adulthood.

Maybe he needs to move out.

Time for him to get his own place where he can be as moody, huff, roll his eyes and snap, as much as he likes.

I think so tbh

Bring it up. He can take his moodiness to a house share or share with his GF.

Has he argued with his gf? Or maybe she isn’t good for him.

We asked if everything ok he says yes.
He’s not terribly good at talking about his feelings but often it will come out days later.
Personally I think he’s not 100% happy with her but doesn’t know how to end it.
7 years is a long time at his age.
He does love her but she’s also very moody. Is it rubbing off on him.
He was such a happy child it’s breaking my heart to see.

Can his dad take him out for a pint or a walk and get him to open up? The pint thing is a cliche I know but maybe he'd open up to his DF a bit? Something is obviously bothering him for him to be so moody. Is she pressurising him to move in together?

Don’t think so she’s very clingy to her Mum. She’s told him she will never be far from her Mum.
I think he’d like to move out and be independent.
We’ve tried the chatting but it doesn’t work at the time.
He will open up at some point as he eventually does but often he’ll have a moan about her then next week it’s all forgotten. Al lived up again.
Im worried about his mental health as he bottles things up.
It worries me as a man I knew bottled everything up and then committed suicide. I’m not saying he’s at that point but it worries me.

But don’t men often say ‘yes’ when they mean ‘no’? They’d rather not discuss their feelings.

Needs to move out

I think sometimes adult children don't realise the impact they're having on their parents whom they share a home with. Explain to him you are human beings with feelings and it's unpleasant sharing a home with someone who is constantly in a bad mood.

Is he generally a bit down or unhappy? A good job or girlfriend doesn’t equal happiness

personally I’d sit down with him and ask him the reason behind his moods. Explain that he’s an adult and you don't expect moody teen behaviour from him. Is there anything you can all do to get on better?

He needs to move out, honestly. And this isn't me just being a Mumsnet "kick them out the millisecond they turn 18, I had a mortgage and a six figure job and seven willowy kids by the time I was 19.5, kids these days are useless" person - I was exactly the same as him mid twenties.

Grumpy, non-communivative, like a big teenager and it was genuinely because I'd outgrown living at home and desperately needed to spread my adult wings. I was always most grumpy when I came home from my boyfriend's, because I'd had that small taste of independent adult life then come back to the nest and was pissy about it but completely incapable of recognising or articulating why. So I took it out on my poor mam.

Maybe time for a chat about his plans? 7 years is a long time to be together and not be making moves towards living together, maybe a conversation about that to start the ball rolling?