Husband given me a handwritten divorce options

[Ikeasucks]

Is there anyone here really good on divorce settlements. Husband handed me a A4 piece of paper with “my options” - seeing a lawyer later this week but at £360 a consultation fee i need all the help i can get to get my head round it

I would suggest that you go through your options with the solicitor. Pretty sure your husband's 'options' will very much favour him.

If you are in England/Wales David Terry Divorce Forum an excellent site. DT an ex Divorce solicitor. As the other poster said take DHs ‘options’ as utterly meaningless. £360 be worth every penny to establish what (if any) rights you have.

terry.uk/phorum/list.php?2

I paid to see a solicitor last Aug who was great and explained how it all worked and roughly what I would be due - she did say though if we could avoid fighting it out through solicitors (and pay thousands) and cone to a fair settlement that would probably be better all round. Issue is i don’t know what he has in his own account, our business account (am a director) and his stocks/shares.

Sorry to hear this, it sounds like a bit of a shock to you.

The CAB (Citizen's Advice) can refer you to a solicitor who will give you 30 minutes free advice. However, you need to be well prepared as they will charge you for any time that goes over the 30 mins. You will need to have a list of questions & make them stick to your list.

You need to be clear about what you are getting for the £360 consultation fee before you go.

Good luck. x

What were “your options” that he set out for you? Cheeky fucker

A divorce solicitor will help with the legal things but, generally, they will recommend a special financial consultant if finances are complicated or there's a concern your ex is/will hide assets.

Upload the options and we'll tell you what to do

The trouble with his ‘options’ is that you can’t start to evaluate them without full disclosure of all your assets (and any debts) - what you’ve listed here, and pensions. I’d start by asking him for a full list. Then, and only then, can you add yours, divvy up half each and work out sensible options as to how to reach that middle ground.
I’d suggest that you need to have those details before you can have a worthwhile talk with your solicitor, you may be wasting their fee otherwise.

Yes - i don’t want to see the solicitor without all the details - tbh i’m scared to ask him. He’s completely pretending i don’t exist right now

See a solicitor and show her his options
Write down your own options based on what the solicitor says
Give him your options

He sounds like an absolute tool btw

Then you will need to get disclosure from him. The only way to force this is to apply for a financial settlement in court and fill out From E. Not guaranteed he will be honest but he will need to provide statements to support his claim. I wouldn't be swayed by avoiding fees as you may well get truly shafted especially if you go to mediation. It's in your husband's interests to give you as little as possible.

It doesn't necessarily need to go all the way through court but without full disclosure you are negotiating on his terms.

i know you might not want to give out your financial details OP, but could you give us a rough idea of who is the main earner? A rough idea of your lifestyle?

id guess the ‘options’ are hugely in his favour.

do you have kids? If so, how is care split?

Being scared to ask isn’t a good sign 😬
Write him a note, same as he did to you? The other options are (1) you pay a solicitor to ask him, costing you money and risking him involving a solicitor too, then the costs just start to escalate…. (2) you start divorce proceedings, then both of you will as part of the process have to disclose all assets and liabilities.
Asking him really is the best option!

Don't see the solicitor he suggests. If they are representing him, they aren't allowed to represent you as well anyway, as there would be a conflict of interest.

Agree to nothing, and sign nothing that he provides. Do everything via your own solicitor.