Is This Generation of Men More about Sex and Less about Love?

[MichelleD32]

I have been on dates for the past year and every single man I have encountered, seems to be after one thing and that's it.

It is incredibly frustrating as a 32 year old woman. Has any other woman experienced this?

And do you think this is a generational thing?

I don't think it's anything about the generation of men and more about online dating/social media.

Agree with this. I’m in my 50’s and the men of my age are the same. Either after casual NSA sex or looking fur a nurse with a purse - very little middle ground.

I think it's a universal experience, regardless of age, that online dating is a minefield where you get about 3 messages in before you receive a message which makes you want to burn your phone.

I agree and it’s because of how dating is these days. It’s so much easier to meet someone new now. So much easier to just pass from one to the other, looking for something “better” all the time.

My marriage is sometimes challenging, and sometimes I want out. But I read the dating threads on here and quickly change my mind.

I think all men are mainly after one thing. Some are more open about it. Older men are just as randy. The current generation of men is probably more about 'love' and more likely to help around the house than any previous ones.

Some men also enjoy companionship of all kinds and have hobbies but they still crave regular sexual activity. For most of them, I suspect that is the number 1 reason to marry. My lovely DH was like that. He wanted a regular companion for a range 'daytime' activities and hobbies but he also wanted regular shagging.

Historically, marriage was not for companionship. It was for procreation (even poor men needed sons) and political/business alliances.

Nothing to do with generations, I think that all men have just got lazy, primarily due to online dating being a bit like a catalogue of seemingly never ending options so they feel they don’t have to put any effort in to build a connection first. A first message I got earlier was just ‘fancy shagging?’. This was from someone in their 30’s but have had similar from men in their 60’s.

I think that's true. And doesn't just apply to men, though they tend to be more shagging-motivated IMO, i've got female friends who seem to have been influenced by the catalogue approach to online dating and think as women, they have the upper hand in dating and if they're not treated as 'Queens' they aren't interested.

Then they moan about the dating pool being so poor, not seeming to realise that they've set unbelievably high and unrealistic standards.

I think online dating has destroyed romance. Seems like sexual chemistry is now compulsory before most relationships even begin! It's no longer an exciting shared journey for 2. We've become too greedy and impatient for a result to allow nature to gradually take it's course. Getting to properly know someone is considered wasting time nowadays yet how else do we learn if someone's right for us? Single ladies still want gentlemen and vice versa. But online it's easy to grow bored with a potential suitor who's moving too slowly towards making a date lol. Some men are shy but actually worth the effort, whilst some women are serial online daters! And aren't most women encouraged (by other women) to date several men at a time, sign up to a few sites at once to keep their options open?

Looking at the bigger picture, you'll understand why online dating is such a mess. Taking a chance in real life is probably more fun!

Last couple of men I've been involved with both claimed to be all about getting to know the person first, both turned out to be porn addicts. 🙄

I think that men have always been the same (more about sex than love). I agree that in some ways it's easier now to because of social media and no taboo about sex before marriage, as there was in the past.

Men have always been fundamentally motivated by sex, not love. They're built to spread their seed as far and wide as possible and generally aren't naturally monogamous. But in the past they've had to tow the socially acceptable line, or at least look as if they were. Everything is now set up for them to do as they please. They can basically find a shag from a catalogue and watch any kind of porn 24/7 on a device small enough to carry anywhere.

Wouldn’t it be lovely to go back to the days when men approaching pension age didn’t send photos of their cock as a mating call

(and yes I know it’s illegal now but it doesn’t stop em)

They can be more open about it because society basically encourages it. Online dating and only fans / online porn has ruined everything.

I will never use a dating app ever again and I have accepted I may be single forever but I would rather that than compromise and settle for what seems to be ‘acceptable’ these days. I wish women would collectively raise their standards.

@MichelleD32 , I’m 62; men have always been the same. If you find a good one hang on to him if you can.

Agreed. Sex and intimacy have and always will be men's main motivation. But fundamentally, the physical approach equally applies to women, who've obviously helped shape the landscape of online dating. Women watch porn and occasionally shag their colleagues too. Have you seen how many categories of alternative relationship these dating sites cater to? Casual hook ups, FWB, "hanging out", there's loads to choose from!

Read a few of the threads on here sharing FWB stories offering women tips and advice on getting started lol. It's not just sex obsessed guys who are at fault if we're being honest.

The difference I think now is on line dating and porn at the touch of a button that all women are expected to be ‘ok’ about - romance for ‘most ‘ may as well not exist .