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Relationships

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Confused but Excited – New Feelings at 66

3 replies

DeepPoster1959 · 26/05/2025 10:43

I hope it’s alright to post something so personal here, but I’ve been bursting to talk to someone about this, and I’m a little too self-conscious to bring it up in my usual circles just yet.

I’m 66 years old, divorced for nearly two decades, and until very recently, I would have confidently said I was straight. My romantic and sexual history has always been with men. But the truth is, over the past few years I’ve started feeling differently – not just curious, but genuinely drawn to women in a way I never allowed myself to consider before. I’ve begun identifying as bisexual, quietly, to myself. It feels like breathing a different kind of air, if that makes sense – clearer, freer, unfamiliar.

The reason I’m posting is that there’s someone. I’ve been taking an art workshop at the local community centre – sculpture, something tactile and messy, which has been great fun in its own right. And there’s this woman there. Her name’s Lucy, she’s 28, and she’s… I don’t even know where to begin. Vibrant, beautiful, effortlessly confident. She has this energy like nothing I’ve encountered – wild in the best way. Hair like a painting, laugh like music. And she flirts. At first I thought I must be imagining it, wishful thinking maybe, but it’s gotten more and more unmistakable. Light touches on my arm when we talk. She’ll brush my hair back and say I have “those eyes – like an actress in a 70s film.” When I laugh it off, she smiles like I’ve given her something special. She said once, during a break, “You know, you’re a little dangerous. You see everything. I bet you’ve lived.” And it was all I could do not to melt right there.

I feel a bit foolish even typing this – she’s 38 years younger. I’ve had children older than her. But she makes me feel… visible. Not in a leering way. Like I matter, like there’s something luminous inside me she’s noticed. I don’t know if it’s just her personality – maybe she’s like this with everyone – but it’s affected me deeply. I find myself looking forward to our conversations, to her crooked little grin. And yes, I find her attractive. I’ve lain awake thinking about her. I’ve fantasised. That’s a strange thing to admit at my age, and maybe a little embarrassing, but it’s the truth.

Part of me wants to just enjoy the attention and not overthink it. But another part – the part that’s spent too long burying pieces of myself – wonders if this is something more. She told me last week she admires how calm and “anchored” I seem. She said being around me makes her feel safe. And I wanted to tell her that being near her makes me feel alive again.

I haven’t told her how I feel. I’m afraid of seeming predatory, ridiculous, or worst of all, misreading her intentions. And yet... something is shifting in me, and I’m not sure where it’s going to lead.

Has anyone else experienced something like this – a late-in-life realisation, a powerful connection with someone much younger, or even just the fear of letting yourself hope when it feels absurd? I would so appreciate your thoughts.

OP posts:
TreesWelliesKnees · 26/05/2025 14:58

It's never too late to feel like you're coming back to life... I'm currently in a very long slump and I hope something like this will one day come into my life again and wake me up. It sounds like something to truly appreciate. I'm not sure whether you should try to pursue anything with this woman though. It's a very big age difference. I wonder if it would be better to just enjoy it for what it is right now? I think that often the younger person in an age-gap relationship ends up being vulnerable to getting hurt, one way or another.

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/05/2025 15:20

I'm 66, too. I finally accepted that I preferred women when I was 41 - I've been with my female partner, who is 2 years older than me, for 26 years now.

I've met and know other women who can have a similar effect on me as the young woman you describe, OP - there's one I see regularly as part of my voluntary work, for example. She's very attractive, very personable, touchy-feely, etc (and about 18 years younger than me, though looks a lot younger than she is) - and I have no doubt whatsoever - she's happily married to a man - that she's not remotely interested in me! As I'm in a committed relationship, it's not at all difficult for me to accept and deal with that. But as you're single, this is both new to you and there are (to you) no reasons for you not to feel interested.

What I'm saying is that some women are just really nice, very friendly, tactile, etc - but it doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in you relationship-wise. Tread cautiously.

DeepPoster1959 · 26/05/2025 19:59

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/05/2025 15:20

I'm 66, too. I finally accepted that I preferred women when I was 41 - I've been with my female partner, who is 2 years older than me, for 26 years now.

I've met and know other women who can have a similar effect on me as the young woman you describe, OP - there's one I see regularly as part of my voluntary work, for example. She's very attractive, very personable, touchy-feely, etc (and about 18 years younger than me, though looks a lot younger than she is) - and I have no doubt whatsoever - she's happily married to a man - that she's not remotely interested in me! As I'm in a committed relationship, it's not at all difficult for me to accept and deal with that. But as you're single, this is both new to you and there are (to you) no reasons for you not to feel interested.

What I'm saying is that some women are just really nice, very friendly, tactile, etc - but it doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in you relationship-wise. Tread cautiously.

Thank you xx

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