what to do with a gambling addict husband?

[Lilly11]

My husband has been gambling for years but this time he played and spent all our savings. After 15 years Together and 2 children I don't know if I want to continue to be with him? I don't work and I can't go back to my parents
thanks

You leave, because it never gets better. Sorry this happened to you.

Get a job and divorce him.

I could have papered my whole house with booking slips and was very much part of a love triangle with william hill !! And slots as well.
You deserve better and so do your children. Hes just a life long bill you will never clear. Wishing you a the best 💐 💕

How much did he lose? Is there a chance he sees the savings as his rather than rightly joint? Has he admitted he has a serious problem and committed to going to Gambler’s Anon or head in sand? Is there any reason you don’t work? Can give you more security but not right for everyone so just wondered.

It's possible you don't know the half of it. Addicts destroy lives and lying comes as easily to them as breathing.

This.

I think you have to leave. Or if he is serious about recovery financially disentangle yourself enough that you control all household finances whilst be does the necessary work.

Leaving will probably be a lot easier mentally than dealing with the anxiety an addict brings into a household. .

I have first hand experience with this. First gambling was just a few hundred a month of his own money and then gradually it was then our money used, which was a few thousand and then it racked up in credit cards and loans to £15k which we remortgaged house to get him out of and then couple years down the line it was 1000’s worth and one just equating to 6k, just one bet on a stupid football game. He could no longer keep up with repayments on loans so had to come clean and in the end the only way out I could see was to sell the home we loved. We have two kids also and in hindsight’s, I should have left then, as he is now back in debt, whether it is for gambling I don’t know as he has gaslighted me that much to believe it’s just every day expense racking up to 20 k, however he brings home 50k per annum. So the math ain’t mathing to me. Get out now whilst you can

Sorry but unless they are actually seeking help to stop because they genuinely want to, you can't do anything.

He's already spent everything. You need to get a job and leave

i had baby recently so I have no one to leave him

thanks everyone. I thought about leaving him but he swore to me that he will not play anymore and I took control of the expenses

If you're staying/don't feel you can leave: is he willing to seek help with his addiction by going to Gamblers anonymous or something? I don't think you controlling the finances is a long-term solution on its own. He needs to address his problem with therapy or some kind of support. I don't think just saying he'll quit will be enough.

For you, I think you should plan to be in a position where you can be independent of him. Obviously if you're home with a baby at the moment, you probably feel a bit stuck. But you now know he can't be trusted to put your family first, so you need to look to a future which might not have him in it. So I'd be looking at going back to work or retraining.

You should also look into co-dependence and chsrities or support groups for the families of addicts to get advice on how to avoid the common traps.

Hes never going to change, despite his promises. Get that divorce underway

Get yourself to an Al-anon meeting (it will be fine that he gambles, he is an addict)

(And call the helpline first and ask if you can take the baby to a meeting with you if needed , lots of them are on during the day and are generally mostly women)

They never stop