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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling ignored by husband

2 replies

Goscat · 25/05/2025 20:22

Anyone else just get like nothing from their husband in terms of the emotional side of the relationship? I'll chat away at him, try to make conversation, and I get a literal blank stare back. We don't have childcare often, but I try to organise solo date nights for at least his birthday etc, I had to ask him myself if we could go out for brunch for mother's day (with the kids) even though he knows I love going for breakfast. He's otherwise not suggested a single thing since we went to a gig HE wanted to go to in march last year.

Even with things like baby movements (I'm currently pregnant) I had to repeat myself 3 times yesterday that I was feeling a bit anxious about level of movement (not something I get stressed about often) which finally elicited a "it's probably fine" end of.

I feel bad complaining because he's a great dad (manages to not ignore the kids somehow, only me) and he does a lot around the house without being asked, but I feel like I'm loving with a roommate who happens to be my kids dad.

I think he's completely burnt out (we both work full time), but he refuses to take any time to himself to recharge, so when we finally have the kids in bed he's just a zombie.

I suggested he leave the kids in nursery tomorrow and go do something for himself, but he's decided not to and is solo parenting for the day (I'm working) which I know he'll come home stressed from.

I just feel so lonely 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 25/05/2025 20:26

Tell him exactly what you’ve said here. You need to communicate it to him and tell him what it is that you need from him.

Missj25 · 25/05/2025 20:53

Goscat · 25/05/2025 20:22

Anyone else just get like nothing from their husband in terms of the emotional side of the relationship? I'll chat away at him, try to make conversation, and I get a literal blank stare back. We don't have childcare often, but I try to organise solo date nights for at least his birthday etc, I had to ask him myself if we could go out for brunch for mother's day (with the kids) even though he knows I love going for breakfast. He's otherwise not suggested a single thing since we went to a gig HE wanted to go to in march last year.

Even with things like baby movements (I'm currently pregnant) I had to repeat myself 3 times yesterday that I was feeling a bit anxious about level of movement (not something I get stressed about often) which finally elicited a "it's probably fine" end of.

I feel bad complaining because he's a great dad (manages to not ignore the kids somehow, only me) and he does a lot around the house without being asked, but I feel like I'm loving with a roommate who happens to be my kids dad.

I think he's completely burnt out (we both work full time), but he refuses to take any time to himself to recharge, so when we finally have the kids in bed he's just a zombie.

I suggested he leave the kids in nursery tomorrow and go do something for himself, but he's decided not to and is solo parenting for the day (I'm working) which I know he'll come home stressed from.

I just feel so lonely 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hey OP ..
I’m sorry to hear you feel so down & out x

I kinda think your husband sounds the same though ..
You need to talk to him, & as other pp has said ,
Tell him exactly what you said here , or you know maybe show him what you have written here , sometimes we take words we see in a lot more than words we hear …
I hope everything works out well for you ..❤️

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