Fearful avoidant - should I leave him once and for all?

[onomatopoeia]

So, I’ve been with my partner for almost 2 years now. Feel very close, probably closer than I ever have to anyone and when it’s good, it’s amazing.
He’s never been married or had kids. At first I thought he just hadn’t found the right person but now I realise there’s probably more to it. I think he has a fearful-avoidant/disorganised attachment style. We can be so close and then I say the smallest thing that is construed as being critical and he gets extremely offended and very quickly ends the relationship. The longer we’ve been together, the worse it’s got. The last few months he’s been finishing with me every couple of weeks. After a few days, he’s sorry and wants me back and things are great for a while until…push and pull all the time.
I know you are probably thinking I should just leave and never look back but I love him so much.
Ive mentioned the attachment stuff and sometimes he acknowledges it, other times he avoids it. He isn’t getting any help, despite us talking about this.
Anyone else been in a similar position?

Just wasted 3 years on someone like this, he ended the relationship and immediately contacted exes for an ego boost every time things got tough.

Bin him off, can’t be wasting time on someone playing games like that.

Tbh I think he wants you to make the decision of chucking him. Instead of him. Then he would feel, ironically, safe.

I think if you do love him and want him to grow as a person, leaving him might be the key to forcing him to look at some of his issues.

You can't change him though. He can only do that work himself.

I have a lot of personal experience of avoidant attachment and I have been left by someone who I was avoidant TO (myself behaving rather in the way you describe your partner did ). It broke my heart in the end but I did learn from it - we werent right for each other as long as I was in my unresolved "avoidant state" and in my next relationship I was forced to behave differently in the knowledge that I couldn't repeat the pattern.

So suggest a therapist and if he refuses to countenance, leave him for once and for all

He sounds like an over-sensitive baby.

You say the slightest thing that might conceivably be something even remotely resembling a tiny criticism of him and he immediately dumps you, then comes back several days later, to see if you have learned your lesson.

He is attempting to 'train' you into being totally compliant and to never question or criticise anything he does. As long as you are a 'good girl' then he's lovely. The very second you step out of line, he does it again.

Fuck that.

He's being abusive...just don't get back with him.

The op started this thread in May, I hope she's seen sense and dumped the manipulative twat by now.

yes been there