How to people manage when a partner is over spending and says well I have adhd and shrugs!
We both work full time. Mine is split across two roles, one salaried, one self employed. I earn apprx double dh because of the self employed income is virtually another salary. But I'm getting tired and exhausted and want to reduce the self employed income so my work load is more manageable. DH agrees with this in principle but this doesn't seem to translate to reducing spending. I want to to live within our salaried income (possible) and use self employed income to reduce our debt. We could then use it to have fun experiences with. I only started the self employed role because we couldn't pay our credit card off one month.
DH recently spent £450 in one month, on his hobbies, eating lunches out and other things that are generally impulsive buys.
He is responsible for food and cooking and regularly spends over £1k per month, add in the odd take out and this can increase by another £500 (2 adults 2 teens). He says this is impossible to reduce. I've suggested online shopping to reduce impulsivity and top up shops... he says I'm being controlling.
I'm not sure what to do. I've reduced my spending. I suggested we each have £100 month to spend on what we like. Again, agreed in principle and he's steadily spent more every month. I've gone over a couple of times, with unexpected spends like glasses, but then I've spent less the next month.
So any suggestions on how to help him reduce his spending!
I'm kind of worn out by it all! I absolutely can't keep up the level of self employed work to cover his spending and reduce our debt.