Why do unhappy couples get married?

[sassysaint99]

I don’t get it, i know a couple that have just got married after he cheated and got another woman pregnant, this happened last year, I just don’t understand why you would bother marrying.

Because they think it will make their relationship stronger? Or that she has financial security if he does decide to cheat again?
I wouldn't do it, but lots of people marry to try and save their relationship or because one is more enthusiastic about it than the other.

So she can divorce him and get her share

I think age and time of life plays a big part. I think if a woman is 30ish + and wants children, they fear they are pushing it to abort that current relationship and start again.

They have 3 children under 5, earn good money between them but definitely not rich, she wouldn’t be in for a big payout if they divorced they rent their home, lease cars, they’re both 30 so not old.
it baffles me, men cheat and the women then marry them. Makes no sense.

Sunk costs fallacy.

I would cut my losses not waste more time

Being married and having a wedding mean a lot to some women.

They think it will save the relationship. The excitement of planning the wedding can make it feel like you have a shared purpose. That's why so many couples are together for years, get married and then split up instantly. The marriage didn't ruin the relationship, it was already ruined, and the marriage didn't save it.

But with a man that has cheated and has a child
by another woman. 🤯

@MrsSunshine2b So kind of like, after the excitement and time filling of the wedding planning they realise they have nothing between them?

Speaking personally, and as someone aged 26 at the time:

1. Hope that it will strengthen the relationship
2. Wanting to have a successful LTR to emulate ones parents
3. Poor self-esteem/ thinking no-one else wants to have a relationship with you
4. Traditional ideas of having a child within a marriage rather that out of one
5. Everyone else is settling down/Peer pressure/ FOMO

I've learnt to think differently since.

Just like when couples have kids. Band Aid but it never works

Because now she can feel like she won because he married her and not the OW. It’s a giant pick me dance. Of course, it won’t stop him doing it again, and he will. Poor kids. Their life will be in for a lot of turbulence.

For the children's sake......

I feel sorry for her tbh, even if he doesn’t cheat again what he has done is, in my opinion unforgivable and it would never leave my thoughts but maybe she can get past it.

@ArtemisiaTheArtistquite a few reasons then.

He’ll get all his washing done and fed and somewhere to live. She’s probably scared of ending up alone with no money, nowhere to live, and three kids.

This

@sassysaint99I also concur with financial and housing issues. I definitely had those. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. I would have had to move back home (London to a village) and in turn would have had to give up my job ((which as it has turned out, helped me get out of my sad situation). I didn’t have a child then, though, so it must be even harder for your friend.

It's an expensive Elastoplast to try to hold a relationship with cracks in it together. It might also have been an ultimatum from one party to the other as part of trying to move on.
Either way, if they've not sorted out the issues that caused the cracks in the first place, they'll still have issues down the line.

They think marriage will stop them cheating but in my experience they are the worst.

Cos they are stupid enough to think that a wedding is proof of their commitment

This. Also aged 26

i would never look at him the same way or feel the same way about him. Everybody knows too, I’d be too embarrassed to marry him.