Do I leave?

[Armslength2025]

Hey,

Ive been married around 9 months. Together 6 years. Something in me feels like the relationship isn’t right. I don’t know that I’m myself or happy.

At the start of the year I met someone whilst on a work training course and was unfaithful to my partner. Nothing has happened since. I’ve wondered why this has happened and how I can work on things at home.

We rarely have sex, we don’t spend much time together doing things, he has hobbies that he sees his friends with regularly, I find him emotionally unavailable at times. I have raised my concerns and he has put a lot more effort into spending time together and generally being there for me more. I’m worried it is too late, sometimes I think I could be happy as we have a lovely home, are in a perfect position to start a family. Other times I want to meet someone else.

Has anyone been through this before? I am 31 he is 39.

I think you should end it. If he wants children he’s better off starting again now at 39 rather than wasting more years with a cheat who has ‘settled’ for him. And you are young enough to find someone you love properly but time is ticking by so it makes sense to end things now.

I think you felt pushed into progressing your relationship further, you got marriage and dread the thought of having children with him and settling.
You feel there is more to life and you know your heart’s not fully into him. Deep down you want to break up but feel anxious about how to leave because you feel guilty about letting everyone down.