I've posted before about my relationship. Still struggling. On the verge of seperation. I just needed help to decode a specific behaviour of my partners that he often uses. I would not call him a controlling or manipulative person generally, but there is one tactic he often uses that I have always struggled with and I guess I am just wondering what the motive behind it may be. He has always done it - maybe more so lately. He will say something that he knows will make me stressed or upset me, but its so very subtle
Eg - last night I asked him to watch the kids for 20 minutes while I got dinner ready. We have a 4 year old and an 18 month old and they were both getting hungry and cranky. He had in his mind that he was going to go and sort his wood pile out so I think he was a bit put out needing to watch the kids. He faffed about trying to get them outside all the while saying out loud that the kids can just come and watch him do the wood which is fine I don't really care what they do as long as they aren't under my feet in the kitchen but as he was walking out the door he says sort of in a mutter I don't know how I'm going to stop him running onto the road though (the smaller one). We live at the end of a culdisac and our front section isint fully fenced so yes we do need to watch them closely when out the front but it's never an issue. It feels like he is saying it in the hope I will get upset and tell him to leave the younger one inside with me ... it feels very subtly manipulative and it doesejt make me feel good. This is one tiny example but happens very very frequently. Can anyone shed some insight please???