Blurred boundaries in work/ made a mistake

[Pterodacty11]

Didn’t know where else to post this, and I’m too embarrassed to talk to friends about this so please don’t tear me apart.
I did something incredibly stupid and slept with my boss and my head is a complete mess because I have no idea where I stand, and whether anyone knows and if this will have totally messed up my career.
Nobody mentioned anything to me (yet) but I’m driving myself insane with worry that people might be talking and that I might have lost my professional reputation entirely.
Part of me really wants to contact him and talk about this but this also scares me because I don’t want to look like a fool…
If anyone has been through this can you give me some advice on how to navigate this as I am unsure what to do and I’m driving myself insane thinking about worst case scenarios non stop. Thank you

Why on Earth would anyone else know about it?

I’d be job hunting, yesterday.

He would be a fool to tell people surely…

I would start looking for other jobs, OP: the situation could turn very difficult for you. Good luck 💐🙏

Sorry I don’t think he’d tell people but it was a work trip so I’m paranoid someone might have noticed. I might just be overthinking.
Yes, I’ll look for other roles

how likely is it that other people know? Sounds like you are really anxious about it and catastrophising.
obviously it wasn’t a great decision and one that neither of you wish to repeat.
distract yourself as best you can and the intense worry will die down in time. Do not confide in any colleagues.

If people might have noticed be prepared with a couple of casual, vague phrases if there are comments.
If there was any sort of comment you wouldn’t want to be going red or stuttering and looking ‘guilty’

Are you both single?
was there alcohol involved?

So not contact him at all to discuss it (obviously not via work channels)? It bothers me but I think it’s best not

What do you want to discuss, what do you want to get from the discussio?

It happened, there were 2 willing (presumably) participants?

There’s no easy answer about whether to contact him to discuss..
My opinion is best not to.
he may want to repeat the experience or embark on some sort of relationship which you don’t seem to want, plus he is your boss.
or he might perceive what happened as a meaningless one night stand and be annoyed/confused as to why you’d want to discuss it!
plus we don’t know if one or both of you are single and what your job role is.
(no need to respond to those points but worth considering)
If he is significantly senior to you or a very large age gap this could also be difficult.

Been there. We didn’t talk about it after the first few times we saw each other in the office felt a bit awkward, but that didn’t last long.

(It then happened again a few months later and we are now married with two kids…).

My advice - you don’t bring it up and you act like it never happened. And you will both move on soon enough.

Thank you all 🩷
And both single (as far as I’m aware)

Why do you think people might suspect something?

I’ve done this twice in two different jobs & many years apart (both me & the other person were single both times). No policies against it where I work. One ended up in a LTR & the other fizzled out after a few months. Neither caused any harm to my career but both caused a lot of rumours & gossip which were not ideal. I’d avoid that situation again but these things do happen. I hope it works out ok for you.

edited to add - that I wasn’t the first work colleague either man had slept with & not that unusual in either workplace due to being large companies

I did the same thing a long time ago. We’ve now been together 20 years and have a beautiful DS. Work affairs can end well!