Selling home after separation… managing emotions

[Fedupbigtime]

I’ll keep it simple, myself and my partner of 14 years are separating (relationship has gone toxic following multiple issues over the years). There is no hope for the future. We have a daughter who is 11.
I’m just looking for advice, tips, coping or any inspiration around the daunting issue of selling our home. We have both put our hearts and souls into the house and I love it here. I can’t afford to buy him out and will have a great deposit for a new start BUT the overwhelming thought of it and upset of leaving is crippling me. It’s the main reason I’ve stayed so long. Know it’s silly being so attached to a house but I’m overwhelmed with emotion (know I need to do it for peace and a calm home)

thanks

I don’t have any answers OP but I’m in exactly the same boat. I love my house and the thought that I will have to leave is sad and terrifying in equal measure. It’s also part of the reason I stayed so long, to try and get into a position to keep it but sadly I’ve not been able to.

Leaving any house you’ve been in for a long time is a wrench even when it’s not because of a relationship breakdown. Take it easy and remember that home is where the heart is!

Try to be a little excited at the next chapter. You’re free to build something new, something happier. We always feel safe in our comfort zone but things often get better when we step outside of it.

It’s so hard isn’t it. I just feel trapped but the relationship has become so unmanageable. I keep thinking of the peace I’ll have once it’s gone and I have my own but I just can’t cope with leaving here (I absolutely will have to) but getting through a sale and a move is making me feel so overwhelmed. I’ve been here many times and just stay as I feel I can’t manage but this time I have to find a way.

Thank you @Jammychoc trying my best to imagine that peace and closing my own front door. I’m lucky to be in a position to get something else and have it how I want it. Feels so silly to be so attached to bricks 🤦🏼‍♀️ but I guess it was our dream home and maybe the attachment is related to what I think could of been.. but is sadly not the actual situation I find myself in

Try to take it a day at a time and hang on in there. It might take a bit of time but your new place will feel like home eventually, and you will come to love it. With any luck you might feel an overwhelming sense of relief once you’re in…maybe focus on how you might decorate the new place or some little things that you can buy for it.

Imagine your home burnt down. What are things you'd save?
The things you'd save are the important things. The memories will always be in your mind.
Move on and build new memories.
I suspect that it's not so much the house, but that is where you last felt sale. Be brave and find your new happy place but without the stress of your ex. You can do this move.

Similar here! I love my home too and it was going to be our dream life.
Sadly not now and I am unsure if I want to get into debt to try and buy him out or if we will have to sell.
The thought of selling breaks my heart but, practically, I think that will be the route.
I have started looking online at properties for sale, hoping that I can start to visualise a new dream and that something will really grab me and make me feel some hope for my 'new dream and future'.
It is difficult - not only have you got the relationship breakdown to cope with but everything else that entails also. The last thing you want to be bothered with is having to add to the stress and the emotional & physical exhaustion of leaving your home.
I do completely get it.
Big hug x

You’re grieving the life that should have been and the future events that won’t happen like a family bbq, the next family xmas, hosting a drinks party with friends. It’s heartbreaking. I’m there too. My friends, mum, mortgage broker and estate agent are getting me through this… small steps forward. I’m trying to block out the reality of leaving our family home and trying to get through each day. It’s making me physically unwell as it’s been a year. All I can say is please keep going.

I totally get the fear. I'm in a similar situation. I think it's not only the house, it's the familiarity, the safety, the memories, maybe good neighbours. And the fear of where you will be going, if it will be suitable and will you be happy there. However, peace and harmony are worth way more than just bricks and mortar. I like the Proverbs quote that it's better to live in an attic than share a house with a contentious person. I dreaded leaving an apartment that I shared with someone for 16 years (I adored living there) but now that it's gone, I don't regret it at all. I'm really hoping it will be the same now that I will have to move again. Sending you hugs xo