Am I in the wrong?

[Sarah8513]

So I need some advice on whether I am being unreasonable.

I have been with my partner for a number of years now and I have always been the main earner and contributed to all savings. My partner worked but pay wasn’t great which was fine we managed. I worked extra and put money in savings. I also contributed to his portion of the bills so he could still have things he wants including hobbies.

Recently he got a new job which means more money but more hours. I am now exclusively responsible for my own work plus looking after pets and the house some weeks a month. On other weeks his hours change unexpectedly and I have to work around this.

I explained how my health has not been great but I am still picking up the extra. He basically said I don’t seem excited about his job and that I don’t show I love him. I admit I have been pulling away because I feel I don’t get anything from him. I have to fight for conversation, we don’t go out or on holiday partly because he would say he couldn’t afford it but he would still continue to buy things he wants.

can I have some thoughts on am I wrong and what I can do to help the situation?

I think some detail would help.

What we're his hours and salary before vs what they are now?

You're being a doormat and your life seems to revolve around him. He obviously doesn't care about you and seems to be taking advantage of you.

He does sound selfish and seems to take you for granted as the person who gives the most to the relationship. It's not surprising you are dissatisfied with this set up. Maybe it's time to call it a day.

When did you last regularly go out? What pets have you to sort? Have you got kids?
you indulged him initially so that he could have his hobbies and now you have burn out I guess?
does he do anything for you that is nice? Does he help with the cleaning…
all sounds a bit naff for you so far but if he is contributing in other ways then it’s not all about money.
Also, despite the hours he is earning more from what you say and maybe some appreciation for this is needed from you. He could feel deflated if you are upset at him, I get why with the hours but I don’t know what he does and if the hours issue is normal for his line of works..

What is it that you want - you need to be clear on this. Your posts suggest that he does his share around the house on some weeks, but not others, depending on his working hours, and he still isn't contributing fully to your joint expenditure. Have you had a proper conversation about all this?

I explained how my health has not been great but I am still picking up the extra. He basically said I don’t seem excited about his job and that I don’t show I love him
he takes no responsibility does he. Ever.

move on. He is selfish and dragging you down emotionally and financially.