I think I’m in an abusive relationship not physical but emotional. It’s a really hard situation to write out but I’m constantly at the receiving end of any mishap that happens in his life. It’s even got to the point now that when he’s in a mood and goes to work I flinch eveytime my phone goes off in case it’s him with an abusive message. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells. I do my at most best not to piss him off or upset him but sometimes it does not work. Yesterday he slept late for work and blamed me then rang me 20 mins later to tell me he must of set his alarm to the wrong time because it had just gone off but there was no apology it was kind of brushed under the carpet. Today he came home from work had a shower I could here him in the shower muttering “look at the state of this shower “ etc (baring in mind myself , him and his teenage child lives here) then he went upstairs and I could hear him saying that his clothes wasn’t ironed etc and he hates creased clothes etc ( I do the washing and drying but I hang clothes on hangers or fold them up for them to put away and sometimes they are just thrown in the spare bedroom by him) then he said look at the state of the carpet it’s only 9 months old ( we have pet dogs ) so he was trying to blame them but I have seen both him and his teenage child walking up the stairs with dirty shoes on. I have to be honest I love him but I feel as if nothing will ever change it’s been like this since I’ve met him and now it’s really starting to get me down. I work full time some in an office and some from home , I work really hard. When all that just happened I burst into tears he then says “aww where we go can’t even speak to you because you start crying etc” and “it’s always a women’s defence to cry” … I’m such a laid back person I hate any confrontation and arguing as when I grew up my parents used to argue and it’s like a trigger for me but part of me thinks that if I did stand up for myself maybe it wouldn’t be this way I feel like I’m a bit of a punch bag and when things are shit I get hit with it all and then when it’s over it just has to be forgotten without even an apology. Sometimes I think maybe it’s me that’s the issue and I question everything I do , I know I’m a nice person and I will do anything for anyone without even thinking about it and I’ll even go without to help others but nothing I do is ever appreciated. I feel so lost I’m in my 30’s all my friends have lovely partners and families and then I’m putting up with this crap every few weeks. I just wanted someone to speak too about it I don’t like to bother family or friends and worry them about my situation and I can’t really afford counselling. Any advice or any similar experiences and how you coped or managed would be highly appreciated. Thank you for reading will look forward to any response I receive