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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to leave abusive husband

6 replies

hunyouok123 · 20/05/2025 23:00

I’m really really struggling. I’ve posted before about my abusive husband I think with different usernames too.
ive got to the point where I know I need to divorce him. He is a violent cruel abusive misogynistic bully. I actually hate him and actually only can relax when he’s not home. I never sit in the same room as him and can’t even look in his direction. He makes me feel physically sick. And the feelings mutual apparently. But he won’t go. And whenever I suggest divorce he threatens to take the kids off me. He is a solicitor so uses this to say he knows how to gain sole custody.

He’s a bully. I just need to get out but I don’t know how to.

OP posts:
S0j0urn4r · 20/05/2025 23:09

Get legal advice. Contact Womens Aid.

Moocrewmummy · 21/05/2025 00:01

Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you’ve got a good support network, even if they don’t know the full extent of things. Women’s aid will help you with advice on how to proceed. Knowledge is power as they say and the more information you have the better position you can get in to put divorce proceedings in motion.

Catoo · 21/05/2025 00:42

See a divorce lawyer without him knowing. Find out what divorce will look like. Find out what documentation you need.

Women’s Aid for advice on how to leave safely.

It’s highly unlikely he will get full custody even if he is a solicitor. When you have a solicitor you can discuss this.

It will be a difficult time for a while. But in the long term so much better for DC and you.

💐

savethatkitty · 21/05/2025 00:45

He's a solicitor? So what. Call his bluff, don't let that scare you. Seek legal advice asap. I wish you all the best. It won't be easy but it will totally be worth it.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 21/05/2025 00:49

What's he going to do with the children once he has them?

Gather all financial information such as pension, investments, savings and see a family law solicitor.

Start a diary of his threats and behaviour, include evidence like texts.

Stop talking about leaving him and start researching how to leave.

Gingerbread are very good for advice on being a single parent although they can't offer legal advice.

Greyrockoff · 03/07/2025 09:03

Get evidence safely. Get legal advice. He may be in violation of professional code of conducts with his threat.

Imagine going through this in the days before it was possible to hit record on a smart watch or phone.

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