I am struggling massively and I don't know what to do.
Been married 6 year together 14. We are both 28 and have a 2 year old and 4 year old. Both work full time, recently moved into a new property
For years we have been struggling financially which I found out two weeks ago that my husband has a gambling addiction. For years he has lied to me about money, he was self employed at one point and money wouldn't get paid or so he say and then we got into a spiral of bills not getting paid. But it now explains everything.
February we had a family meeting with both parents to discuss finances as we were moving house and w agreed a plan on how to get back on track. Month one was fine, month two was ok. And now month 3 he gambled every single penny of his wages and I only found out 2 weeks ago from a bank statement after he lied to me for a week that he hadn't been paid.
I kicked him out and said he needs to get professional help and prove to me and his family he can change. He currently is at his parents. I have taken him to the doctors and I am arranging counselling for him. We have seen each other a few times when he popped over to see the kids. Stayed over once. I really want him to get better. But I feel like I have ruined my boundaries for speaking to him like normal etc...
Fast forward to today and I messaged him to make sure he gets his wages paid into the joint account, he said the money will go to his mum (even when he agreed with the joint account a few day ago) I messaged him and explained we still have bills and need to keep a roof over our head, why would it go to his mum balbala...
I said il message his mum as there is clearly conversations going on without me knowing when it includes me too. Spoke to his mum and she said all the time he's under her roof it needs to go to her and then she will send it to me so she knows he won't have it. Turns out he sent my message directly to her which pissed me off, and on the weekend he was due to stay over and see the kids and said he has a puncture and he lied!!! It wasn't even true he mum said that didn't happen.
I am so confused and frustrated and just want to bombard him with messages. But part of me is trying to be strong and just ignore him. I messaged him and asked why he sent the message to his mum & why lie about the puncture, really disappointed in myself for helping him out over the past two weeks. I'm so sad so lonely and so stressed.