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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sister in law issues

1 reply

ThatMerryPearlFish · 20/05/2025 17:13

My relationship broke down with sister a few years ago. I was unhappy about how she dealt with a family situation, that affected mine and hers. I respectfully set my own boundaries around this and tried to clear the air with her, listened to her side and told her how I felt and thought we would move on.

Sister in law remained passive aggressive, (snide comments, treating my kids differently, talking about me behind my back Infront of her kids, (my little nephew innocently passed on some horrible things his mum had said about me) kept ignoring my boundaries and in the end I reduced my contact to save my own mental wellbeing.

Over the past few years we have only had limited contact. DH keeps in contact with her weekly (his sister). They could physically meet up or spend more time together but have never done so.

Recently she has involved herself in our family life, visiting us at the weekend. I think this is because she wants to use us for what we have, I hate being used. I think she would like this to be every weekend (has hinted at my DH).

I absolutely cannot do this. I have agreed to once every 6 weeks or so for DH sake.

My problem now is, how do I act around her? I am polite but fear my emotions always show (rubbish poker face). I feel absolutely livid around her, because of her self serving behaviour and horrible things she has said/done in the past. I try to keep myself busy, and leave her and DH to it but I am really struggling. It really brings me down.

How do you cope around someone you don't like?

OP posts:
JoyousPoet · 20/05/2025 20:55

Sounds like a difficult situation, OP. I would get DH to set a regular SIL slot up once every few weeks. You can then use that time to do something nice on your own. See a friend, have a massage - whatever makes you feel good.

Or try to talk it through with her to clear the air once and for all. If it doesn’t work, revert to the above.

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