Need support over being ignored.

[mini124]

Hi everyone,

I suffer with serious anxiety issues & have been for quite some time.

I really feel desperate for words of comfort because I am at breaking point.

few days ago I fell out with my daughter who’s 19. I have been feel drained, stressed with few things going on.

i have been managing single handed for 3 years whilst husband been working in Turkey.

We had some serious problems in our relationship but on our way to mending things but I have been feeling increasingly isolated, have unhealthy attachment style. This is effecting my relationship with him. I think he’s been finding me a little too much although been together a long time. The reason I been feeling this way because I have been coping with suspicious behaviour that there maybe someone else. I haven’t confronted it because I wanted to be very sure. we have been awaiting his return all this time.

my daughter wanted to go away on her own, I said no it’s not safe. She discussed this with her dad. He agreed so it caused abit of friction between us. I. Asked him, he can be short fused if tired which sends me into tears. He apologised, although we made up. He agreed we will all go away together. He said don’t rock the boat with teen daughter because she’s in middle of A levels.

few days ago, she stressed me out with her attitude about going away whilst i was dealing with a crashed laptop. I was so unbelievably stressed. I am holding myself accountable that I haven’t been coping well with my moods. I have been extremely snappy.

I shouted at my daughter in anger because she said she was leaving the house. As I am difficult to be around.

She is now staying with my mum til A levels are over.

My husband rang me, I was so distraught because I had an argument with my mum because she don’t offer words of comfort when they are most needed.

I was so distraught that day at my behaviour, my husband tried to call me but I couldn’t answer because I was a mess & didn’t want a lecture from him. I just said was dealing with something and I would call him back tomorrow. That was yesterday, he didn’t pick up & ignored my messages. I sent a text to apologise but he will not respond. I really don’t know to do. It unsettles me so much & part of me feels like I deserve this.

You sound very anxious. I have GAD myself. Could you make a doctor's appointment?

I understand the anxiety but your daughter is an adult and is free to make her own choices.

Your husband hasn't been around for 3 years, I don't think thats anything to do with attachment issues and everything to do with being left alone to raise a teenager. Not only that you suspect there's someone else. And your teen is stressed with A levels.

Ontop of that. General increased anxiety. Based on your daughters age I'm wondering, are you peri/menopausal? Thats been a symptom of mine. Hrt helped enormously

Also. It sounds like you don't have the kind of support network you need right now. I would speak to your GP. See if you can get free 6 week cbt therapy or similar so someone can help you talk things over

I was was wondering if it was premenopausal, I am 45 😢 but look very young for age because I am mixed race. So nobody as mentioned I may be menopause. I have been quite difficult in the last few months to deal with. However, my anxiety has been this way for years, we fall out I get the worst negative thoughts in my head it’s so bad. I can’t sit with the horrible feeling til the problem has been resolved. So my husband tends to go quite on me. Or not call me for ages if angry at me. It’s a negative behaviour pattern. Or maybe I am just too much to cope with. Yes my daughter isn’t easy. Yes your right, she’s 19 & can make own choices. It was more her safety I was concerned about. The fact husband agreed before asking me.

Thank you to everyone for replying ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I really value your support so much 🤗🤗🤗

I am struggling with my mental health. I feel isolated & can’t talk to anyone

I have very bad anxiety

You’re blaming everything on yourself, yet your husband has left you on your own for 3 years. How can he find you “too much” when he isn’t even with you?
You’re not getting support or understanding from anyone, so it isn’t surprising you feel isolated. You would probably benefit from counselling or therapy so that you can talk things through.

Thank you for your reply. I suffer with anxiety in general . Has anyone tried any herbal remedies for anxiety?

If you’re struggling that badly with your MH you need to see your GP.

You sound quite similar to me and I suffer with anxiety. I have been to three different therapists which didnt seem to work. I got prescribed duloxetine by the GP and its really helped!

OP, herbal remedies won't help anxiety, you need to see your GP for advice. Also please consider having some counselling as you sound like you really need support for your mental health. You have been left alone to cope with everything for 3 years and yet are taking the blame yourself for being 'too much' for your absent husband. You are not too much! Please take the first step in getting help for yourself.