Girlfriend doesn't want to be touched after her mom died

[Rvh]

I am in serious relationship with my girlfriend of 4 years. In the beginning there were a lot of issues I helped her overcome. Helped immensely financially to the point she moved in with daughter and a bunch of pets. Her parents were terrible according to her, all exes were horrible,ect. Fast forward 4 years, things are going well both working and in a band together , going great. Then outta the blue her mom dies who lives in Texas along with her dad and brother. Her and her daughter go and I am forced to remain home to take care of her pets, work. Etc. She ends up staying there for 1 1/2 months as her dad needs help and health problems. Comes back alone and daughter stayed . When she came back, she didn't want anything from me, Not to be touched , didn't want me comfort her,etc. The whole time her daughter, her friend would FaceTime her and was just happy and laughing and talk to them for 3 hours. But was emotionally empty . Mind you, there was never any discussion or sign that she was going to move to Texas and take care of her Dad. She was sorry for me, lmao. Life completely upended by this. I understand her duty of going to take care of her Dad. But until this, her parents were most terrible abusive parents ever and rarely spoke to them. Upon her return , her mother is now a. Angel and her and her dad are wonderful now. If she would had been remorseful or cared about leaving me to go do this everything would be different. She really doesn't want a long distance relationship and I was open to it. She says she loves me but still doesn't want anything emotional or physical .Any advise would be helpful.

Grief is a major factor when these things happen but just heading off and then not properly communicating is very odd.
The “everyone in the past was terrible” was a red flag you seemed to have ignored in the past.
This sounds a bit of an odd situation. I think looking at how much quality communication there is, dies it tell you about how much she wants to be in this relationship. If she is checking out perhaps you need to plan for that. If she is permanently moving then you are best off getting out of this.

It sounds like she's ended it OP. She's moved to Texas and doesn't want a long distance relationship. Sounds pretty final to me. She seems quite difficult as a partner from what you say, and maybe you were Mr Rightnow (or Mrs) rather than Mr Right. I too wonder if she's reconnected with someone from her past in Texas.

She's basically ended your 4 year relationship by fading you out, not communicating and hoping you'll take the hint. I know it hurts but you're probably better off out of it.

You decided to offer financial help and housing and for your ex and her DD and pets to move in. To ignore your new partner saying all her exes were crap etc. You made your choices, also affecting your ex’s DC.

You say you were ‘forced’ to look after the pets while your partner went to see her family for a long time after a complex bereavement: the pets were part of your household, so were also your responsibility. Hardly a lot for your ex to have expected of you in the circumstances.

Your ex has seemingly decided to break up: accept it and get on with your life. Own your past choices, which clearly haven’t worked out.

@@Springadorable makes very valid points which you should read again and take note of.

Having lost both parents I can assure you nothing prepares you for the range of emotions that you feel. My parents were good people, but I can imagine if your parents weren’t you are battling the fact you can never tackle/resolve this now, along with the feelings of loss, guilt, anger etc.

this isn’t about you. This is about your partner who is grieving and understandably seeking solace from family (even if that family is dysfunctional-they are family and they share a bond).

You are correct. I just tried to make the post as short as I could with enough info. She did stay in Texas permanently.

'Comes back alone and daughter stayed ' then 'She did stay in Texas permanently'

Which is it!

She said I am sorry for you upon telling me she is moving back to Texas. Also. This little gem. I love you enough to tell you I don't love you right now

So she broke up with you then?

You're calling her your girlfriend and posting that you're in a serious relationship but it's quite obviously over.

Yes... I was coming to add my thoughts and then came across this response. OP, in your first post you come across as quite considered and empathetic, but then immediately demonstrate an aggressive knee-jerk reaction to someone who was genuinely trying to help. It makes me wonder what you're like in your relationship with your gf and whether she feels supported emotionally (as it sounds like a lot of the support you've given her is financial/ practical?) Emotional support is often different to physical support (i.e hugs, kisses etc). Just food for thought.

Here's some constructive advice: if you want people to stay in your life, try not to be a jerk.