We’ve been together 4 years, live together for 3 and I really love him so much! Our relationship is strong and we rarely argue but the times that we do I feel like he doesn’t really care about how I feel. Anytime we have an argument where I feel disrespected or he’s in the wrong he just goes silent and stares at me or his phone or literally anything else rather than actually have a conversation with me about it. It drives me insane and it makes me even more angry about the situation and it just makes it into an even bigger thing! I could understand if I was shouting at him and he didn’t wanna add fuel to the fire but I genuinely bring up these matters as calmly as possible! I grew up in a household where my parents screamed at each other over every disagreement big or small and I said I’d never be like that in a relationship.
He’ll just not speak and it feels like pulling teeth! And when I feel like I’m owed an apology I have to say something like “are you even sorry” and the response is almost always on the line of “well obviously I’m sorry” which honestly doesn’t feel like a real apology considering I had to basically ask for one and it’s not been said with really any remorse in his voice or tone. He’ll just avoid me until I eventually have to break the ice and change the subject and it feels like I have to basically just get over it because he’s not going to try and fix it or at least even just give me a hug or something and say sorry.
It’s annoying too because if he does something that bothers me or feels disrespectful I’ll ask him why did he do it and the answer is almost always “I don’t know” which doesn’t feel like a real answer. And if I say if I did that would you like it and he says no I’ll ask again so why did you do it and again he just says I don’t know which sometimes annoys him because I keep asking the same question expecting a different answer but I just don’t believe the answer is he doesn’t know all the time. If I ever do something that bothers him or whatever I will always communicate with him and make sure he feels heard and apologise but I just don’t seem to get that same respect in return.
We argued yesterday and I got all of this from him and I just refuse right now to just get over it to simply be on speaking terms when my feelings are still hurt and he’s done nothing to show he cares about that or at the very least apologise. I know some might think I’m petty for not talking but honestly I’ve just nothing to say to him right now. And it’s not like he’s made any effort to speak to me. I just don’t wanna keep arguing with basically the wall so I guess I’m just waiting and hoping he’ll act like he gives a fuck. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do and where to go from here?