I don’t know if I’m happy in my marriage. Fee numb.

[RaspberryBanana]

I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. I love him. But recently something isn’t right.

I feel so numb and exhausted by being with him. I enjoy being alone so much more. I like being with my dog and just doing my own thing. I’m extremely burnt out at work too so thinking that could be playing a part in this.

I feel like he’s constantly asking things of me. I don’t know if he actually is, or I’m just easily annoyed by him.

I don’t want to have sex. I don’t want to cuddle. I don’t want to do anything.

It’s not just a case of leaving, either. We live abroad and I’m on his visa. We pay huge rent on our apartment and we’re in contract. I don’t have much in terms of savings. I struggle living in this city - which was his choice to live in.

I’m just so lost and sad. I used to be obsessed with him. Such a spark and so much excitement whenever I was with him. I know that doesn’t last forever but to go from that to this is unthinkable.

I’ve been up and down anout my feelings for him for a while. I haven’t told a soul because everyone loves us together and I am in denial.

Is this normal long term marriage stuff? I thought maybe I was depressed. I don’t know what to do. I’m just so sad.

Do not live less than your full life for worrying what your friends and family think. If they are good friends for you, they will fully support your decision. They may be shocked if you present as the “perfect couple”, but even so they are not in the relationship.

i still remember when my best friend told me 21 years ago that she was thinking/planning on leaving her husband. I can’t remember what I said but I remember thinking thank goodness for that! I could see from the outside what a bad relationship it was. It was honest the best decision she ever made, and her life has gone from strength to strength since. It was almost the exact same thing when my sister told me when she was leaving her husband. Again, very much “well, it’s about damn time” because I had stayed with them for a week some time prior and could see just how bloody miserable they both were.

As for how he would cope, I’m sure he would cope just fine. If the love is gone, it’s gone. The best thing you can do is to have a clean break, and allow both of you to build a life that’s right for you.

You get one precious life, what are you going to do with yours?

You only live once OP, don’t waste your life on someone like this. Especially for other people.. when I split from my ex husband people were a bit disappointed but it passed quickly and they could see I was happier. Their temporary reaction was worth being free