Am I being oversensitive?

[FluentAquaMoose]

I've with a guy for almost 2 years. We've been dancing around each other. Both in counselling due to our pasts and mine especially due to both past relationships.
I was married for 20 years, 3 children, he cheated throughout both by his thirst for porn, then contact women through online sites plus messaging and wanting to meet up with ex girlfriends. Anyway we are now divorced (not amicable in any way), the relationship I had after him - was great until it wasn't and he turned out to be an egotistical narcissist, again, thirst for porn but also wanted to swap partners and you can probably guess the rest. He used to keeps explicit photos of ex-girlfriends on his phone etc and loved telling me about their sex etc because he thought he could turn me on. he always used to tell me how beautiful they were etc.... He's a senior lecturer at Uni and it ended badly when my daughter called the police who then revealed they'd thought I'd been raped over and over by him because he didn't respect my boundaries.

Now this guy........he's incredibly insecure however he is lovely. He's constantly saying that he's punching above his weight with me. I've had something niggling away at me. I've looked at his Insta and he follows women (kaliknockers) (kayla - miss redheadof) (imogen lucie roseyblushesss) you get the drift, likes their posts and is even part of vxn vault which I think is a private locked down account of Vixen. Now I know these are only on insta but now i'm thinking these must have onlyfans accounts etc. i'm quite obviously not his type.

He was also married for 15 years, his ex is a red head, green eyes and curvier. I'm 5ft 2, size 14, blue eyes, olive skin - toned because i have 3 pt's per week, blond hair and freckles, plus I wear makeup. I'm completely not his type from what i've seen from these insta accounts.

If you look at my insta, I have 'GardeningwithJonny', the rest are recipes, clothes, sewing, gardening, interiors.

Perhaps I'm being sensitive after everything i've been through but bloody hell......I have a gut feeling that i'm setting myself up for a fall or am I just fretting over my over sensitivity?

Follow your gut feeling. Him being incredibly insecure will not end well.

Kindly, OP, you have a pattern of really bad relationships with men who sound weirdly similar, and you sound as if you’ve internalised elements of their objectifying, misogynistic attitudes. I would end this relationship, have therapy, do the Freedom Programme and take a good long time being single working on your self-esteem and standards, before even contemplating dating again.

so glad I’m single, I don’t think your over sensitive and it’s something I wouldn’t tolerate ever again so I guess I’ll be single forever. I think almost all men have had their head turned and follow women they find attractive online, some more extreme than others and they absolutely hate it when you ask them, like it’s a big secret but it’s for all to see who they follow!
there isn’t anything wrong with how you look but it’s like they always desire more, even if you were the most beautiful woman on the planet, they still look for something different, quite often men that have had affairs for example don’t always cheat with a better looking woman they want someone different.

If you feel you need to check his SM/ phone etc that probably gives you your answer.

On the surface he seems really 'normal' but what is normal these days. You are right, I do tend to attract them and I have over the years been internalising objectifying, misogynistic attitudes. I've done the Freedom Programme and I am in therapy and yet here I am.

So decide to stop. At the moment, you are still making poor relationship choices. Acknowledge that for now, you are incapable of choosing relationships that are positive for you. I would stay single and work hard on the therapy. Retake the Freedom Programme as many times as needed.