Broken up- lost

[AquaSwan]

Completely broken. No idea how I’m going to get through this. I have just broken up with my partner of 14 years and father of our almost two year old. I found pictures/and numerous messages on his phone from a dating site. He claims that’s all is was (hasn’t met up with anyone) but he did this before and I gave one chance, so this has to be it or I am a complete fool.

We were 2 weeks into a huge life change- just moved across the country (to be closer to my family/friends thankfully), in the process of buying a house, daughter moving nurseries which has all fallen through, and I start a new job next week. no idea how to function. I have no idea how I will cope alone. I don’t earn enough to live anywhere decent as I’m part time and I’m currently staying in my childhood bedroom with my daughter. Everything I have built and worked so hard towards is gone. Feel so lost and there is so much to think about and just need to vent.

Childhood bedroom will be fine for the next year or so while you build up some savings. I'm assuming you have some already if you were going to joint buy a home?

Well done for holding true to yourself. It'll be tough for a bit but you'll get through this.

Prioritise your sleep and health and pour yourself into your new job.

You can do this.

Vent away. Cannot believe he did this to you, what a tool

The reality is, if you let this go (again) and stay, you will be facing the same situation in the future. Sorry it’s happened, it’s shit and you didn’t deserve it. But you have some tough decisions to make, there is no other way around it. You can face it now or you can face it later, x years down the line.
Things will improve, remember you are at the lowest point right now. You are in a good place though because you have family around you and place to live in. Start from here and things will get better.

Wtf is wrong with men and their dicks to make them be so shit i will never understand.

Get legal advice.
Get your share of any joint accounts/savings.
Talk to your friends and family.

I am so sorry OP. This is a tough hand and no wonder you feel broken and lost. All very raw but you can and will get through. The almost physical pain you feel just now won’t always be so intense. Key is to be extra kind to yourself until further notice. Whatever and however you need to get through is more than ok. Cry or vent as much as you need to. Every time you do a little tiny part of the load lessens. Might take you 100s of times though and no time limit on it. Guess it’s like when you’re going through hell keep going. On plus side you have a roof over your head, somewhere safe and are with those who love you. If he’s there tell him to leave. Just hoping you are married so you’ll at least get something to start again. Do a benefit check on entitled to. As a lone parent, you’ll be able to claim what you are entitled to as a separate household to your folks. It might be more than you think and he will also need to give you 15% of his earnings if it just the one DC he has. If he’s done it before and doesn’t even have the decency to be honest about it sadly the only question is whether he breaks your heart now or after you’ve given him more years. Life as a single parent is imminently better than a roller coaster. Nothing like shutting your own front door with no turmoil or drama. Good luck at your new job. Take a deep breath, find the strength to get through just one day, then two and so on. Just hoping in a few months or years you revisit this site to tell us how great you are doing.

www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator/Intro/Home?cid=88aef96a-4a1f-4ea5-91f7-9d59239a7e40

I’ve just ended a 10 year relationship with the father of my 2 children; he hasn’t cheated however I can relate to what you’re saying in terms of being lost and scared. I work p time too.
Keep is updated and rant if you need to x

Claim CMS
Access any joint accounts and take half.
Was your house owned or rented ? If owned the equity will need to be split.

Thank you all for replying.
@StartingAgain2025 I’m so sorry you’re going through similar.

yes I suppose I am in a lucky position being able to stay with family, and once the house sale goes through I will at least some something to start again with, but we have moved to a more expensive area so still feel really vulnerable. It’s just a such a roller coaster of emotions and is exhausting, and having to put on a brave face on to my daughter who keeps asking where daddy is breaks my heart a bit more every time. I hope I can get through this but doesn’t feel possible right now. So hard not to just focus on all that has been lost.