I hate my brother!

[Spittingfeathers313]

Apologies in advance, this will really be a rant to get this off my chest because I can feel myself get more riled up by the day.
I generally don’t have a lot of contact with my brother because he moved abroad years ago, which was honestly a blessing for everyone. He has now returned to the UK and I had either forgotten what a colossal dick he is, or he has managed to get even worse. The problem is that my parents react to his shit and “try to help” wherever they can even though his problems are self inflicted and he doesn’t even appreciate it.
I know that they are adults and that they need to make their own decisions but I’m seriously worried that they he will end up draining them and emotionally and financially.
What bugs me most is that they think that he is the epitome of success and that he has just been very unlucky lately. He has not been unlucky. He is just a complete and utter abusive narcissist reaping what he sowed. Everyone can see it apart from my parents and it’s driving me insane!

Hi op. In these situations it’s usually something that started a long time ago. Is one of your parents dominating either overtly or covertly?

I’m sorry I don’t know what this means?

What was the dynamic during childhood. Were mum and dad mature and attuned? Or emotional, controlling?

I’d say loving but distracted, but it always felt like they both had a favourite. I’m not sure what that had to do with anything now though as we are all adults?

Your brother is still the favourite.

Sorry I meant to say that they both had a favourite each growing up. But yeah maybe they have one now. But why on earth would it be the selfish one who treats everyone like shit. I just don’t get it

I hate my brother too! He has always had mental health problems but has used this all his life to emotionally blackmail others to get what he wants. And my parents don't see it! Even when he stole money from them, they excused it because he's mentally unwell and 'needs our support' apparently. He doesn't work and lives in my parents' home, he doesn't contribute to the bills or do housework or cook food. It is all done for him. He is essentially a human slug but incredibly nasty and a bully to boot. The rest of us siblings are demonised if we say anything to our parents about him.

I feel your pain OP. My solution is to keep my distance and set up firm boundaries. Unfortunately, I can't cut him off as he is in my parent's home, but I just ignore him. We also just let our parents get on with their decision to enable him as discussing it with them leads to more conflict. They don't want to believe how bad he is, maybe they are scared to admit what he has become or he makes them feel needed. Either way, you can't help those who don't want the help.