Hi, soooo, it was my birthday yesterday (39 nothing too special)
Just for context together with my husband 20 odd years, married 7 been through lots of ups and downs. 5 children together (21,18,15,10,7)
I’m always organiser of the birthdays/christmas/occasions but we do have some usual small birthday traditions (cupcakes, choice of takeaway/dinner, presents always put out for the morning with card and banner) I do the same
for my children and my husband with as much thought as possible and save up as necessary.
Woke up and made myself a coffee and had a parcel still sealed “lobbed” my way by my husband saying I didn’t have wrapping paper as our daughter ran out while she was wrapping presents (she had bought) and then he asked what the plans were and I said our son has football and youngest daughter has a party after, to which he replied he didn’t know, I said I’d told him a few times and he angrily mumbled he can’t remember everything!
My 18year old daughter organised and bought cards and presents for the younger kids and helped them to wrap because they love to be involved in the process and they brought them down for me open- which was lovely.
So off to football for my 15 year old that morning, perfectly fine, up and out early, husband came and sat next to me through the game (albeit mostly on his phone) had some other football mums there and a nice sunny day-absolutely fine. Next on to the birthday party that I also needed to stay at (party with a few friends at the park/river bit of a buffet) on the way I said “don’t forget it’s at place” to which he replies “I hate when people do that and tell me like I don’t know” he drops us off and I said if you're going home instead would you tidy up a bit as my family was popping over in a bit. Just quick run the hoover around, wash up, take school bags washing up from the night before.. he comes back to pick us up at the designated time and it was hot and he seemed a bit miffed at waiting for us for about 20 mins as I tried to prize the kids from the park/said our goodbyes. Got home, nothing tidied, oh well, I’ll have a cuppa and crack on with it.
Sat down with said cuppa to put a new watch strap on my new smart watch and couldn’t find the little metal attachments, I asked did you throw the wrapping paper away as I think there are some bits missing? A big huff from him and “I suppose I’ll have to go through the outside bin!” After some searching couldn’t find them so started trying to use the pieces from the original strap to fasten new strap on, proceeded to break the new watch completely and then stormed outside after being short with me about it. Fine 🤷🏻♀️
He stayed outside in the shed watching videos on his phone for a while and made it in when my family arrived to which he seemed to sit in the corner sulking.
He had enlisted my daughter (18) to buy and sort the birthday cake/candles. So she came down to put that together and then he brought it in without rounding up our children from
the garden. My family left and that was it for the evening. I said it’s lovely out it would be nice to pop out for a drink in a garden somewhere, to which the reply was we don’t have money to waste at this time of the month! The kids asked if we were having a takeaway, nope apparently not.
i would have been happy if he’d offered to cook dinner but i cooked the kids dinner and then cooked myself something from the freezer later.
I just feel a bit deflated but just not sure if I’m overreacting?
I haven’t said anything to my husband as I don’t want to seem ungrateful just was hoping for a bit more effort or positivity for the day.
I know it’s got nothing to do with it but I’m finding my job very stressful at the moment and was looking forward to a lovely weekend and I feel a bit meh about his part in it. I tend to gaslight myself into “grow up” about these things so I welcome any feedback of how you would feel if it were you?