Abusive relationship

[hopefultragedy]

I’ve just left an abusive relationship. I’m really upset, I’m questioning my decisions and doubting my thoughts.

I need help with some things that can help me move on, I know it will take time but anyone that’s also gone through this, what helped you move on and stop feeling so sad?

Focus on your future and know that you won’t be abused any more, you have definitely done the right thing.
Do the things that make you happy, keep busy, don’t be tempted to return. You’re free.

Well done for leaving, it's not easy.

Block him on everything such as phone and social media.

You can contact your local domestic abuse organisation and ask about specialised counselling.

For the time being, find something else to focus on such as further training at work, getting fit, decluttering, doing a course etc

You might want to read up on self esteem as it tends to be pretty low after abuse.

It might be good to do the Freedom Programme to help you stay out of the relationship and get some support.

Read this

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/mode/1up?view=theater

Do the freedom programme

Write in a notebook all the bad things he did to you and how it made you feel. Read it back to yourself so you don’t forget how bad it was and doubt yourself.

Block him everywhere.

Go out and start enjoying life again doing anything YOU want whenever YOU want with whomever YOU want. You’re free. Shake off the shackles and breathe again. Rest. Be kind to yourself. Get to know yourself again. Do things that bring you joy. Watch the movie your love. Eat the delicious food. Go out with the girls. Exercise. Book a short break away with your bestie.

I left an abusive relationship just over a year ago, and whilst being in the relationship was awful, and leaving was a relief, the after effects were equally as bad. I went through all the same thoughts - questioning my relationships with everyone, who I could really trust, how I'd ignored my instincts and let it happen etc. I had a huge crisis of confidence.
All I can say is that time does heal. Recognise that this a process you have to go through, and surround yourself with all the healthy support you can - this was the most important thing, for me. What you are feeling is normal after what you've experienced.
Be kind to yourself. Try to do things that give you a lift - fresh air, a walk in nature, exercise, healthy eating, or time spent with good friends. Whatever works for you.
It WILL get better. You'll find your feet again. Just know that it takes time, and allow yourself that time without feeling you're somehow lacking for not getting on top of your feelings already.
Abuse is really damaging. The effects don't magically go away the second you leave.
Try to imagine your brighter future.
And well done for leaving (and not going back). That in itself is hard.
Sending strength. You will get through this.

Thank you everyone ❤️

It's been a year since I Left. Honestly the best advice I can give is cut all contact if you haven't already. I didn't at first and that made things worse, eventually I did and once I had it became easier to move on, when he wasn't able to mess with my head.
A year a go I felt like things were never going to get better but now living a much happier life and realise it was the best thing I ever did.