My partner says I don’t compliment him…

[mamaxbear]

He said it feels like I’m not attracted to him anymore, and while that’s not true, I just don’t really feel affectionate when I’m working full time, default parent to our 3 year old and pick up literally all of the housework. I have to ask and ask him to chip in with things like cleaning, hoovering etc. I have the mental load of all of that while being the only one my daughter ever wants, by the end of the day I just want to go to bed and sleep. I don’t think I’m completely unaffectionate, but it’s definitely not at the forefront of my mind… any suggestions on how we navigate this? (I have spoken to him about the cleaning/house work before and he just says I’m getting at him)

I'd navigate it by leaving the useless lazy arsehole.

Why should you show affection to someone who is leaving absolutely everything to you. He doesn't deserve any!

Offer to compliment him when he had done something that deserves a compliment. Does he compliment you on your excellent mothering/life admin/cleaning and cooking skills? If he starts to compliment you on these and showing his appreciation by joining in I’m sure you will find him a lot more attractive.

I'd write down a list of essential jobs that need doing each week (for instance, hoover lounge and downstairs, clean bathrooms, change bedding, sweep and mop kitchen floor). Don't put any extra weekly items on (for me that would be cleaning windows or hoovering upstairs). And then split them based on time. You each have your jobs, doesn't matter when they are done but they need doing. Other stuff is bonus stuff and everyone tidies up after themselves as they go e.g. wipe surfaces. You both need to agree on this as otherwise it will be nagging or different standards if it doesn't happen. Can't do much about child preference, and being tired - that's just life. But hopefully once the jobs are sorted it'll be easier to give him a quick cuddle while washing up or other brief affection as hopefully you'll just be tired rather than tired and pissed off!

Try explaining that he would be more attractive to you if he did his fair share of everything in your op.
Work out a fairer split of chores and mental load together.

This. And keep repeating how having to parent him is unattractive.

What the hell are you meant to compliment this lazy fucker on?

I would navigate him out of the door.

The brass neck of him wanting attention like he’s Mummy’s Little Solidier. 🙄

While, the OP is actually doing everything bar his job of work.