I'll try to keep this very factual.
We've been married for 8 years, together for 10.
One child together, age 6.
I've never done anything to jeopardise our relationship, where as he has said and done lots of cruel things over the years and he is very twisted, bitter, plays lots of mind games, is uncaring, not always nice to my older child (now an adult) and has become more and more cruel and nasty as time has gone on.
I have reported him to the police before when he threatened to kill me. No action taken. I've been in a DV relationship before and was worried and wanted it logged.
He has never been physically abusive to me. (Apart from one time he threw a glass bottle next to me - not at me).
A family support worker (that we had when there were struggles between him and my teenage son) listened to me talk and said "I'm going to note down emotional abuse with a question mark."
Several friends have said the same. I question if I'm living with a narcissist. I've had contact with Women's Aid to ask for their opinion and get some support because for the last few years, I've known it's not right or good, but it hasn't been as black and white to me as DV was - therefore, I have plodded on for the sake of keeping together for our 6 year old, and because with the cost of living today, I'm not sure I'd afford living as a single parent again!
He earns god knows how many times what I do. He is self employed and also has a limited business. I've always been the homemaker, Mum, I basically do everything and he just works (a lot - total workaholic). I am also self employed. He pays 100% of the bills. I pay my own bills e.g car/phone/etc.
I've reached my limit and have told him (and family and friends) that it's over. Early days, but I am hoping he'll hurry up and leave our rented housing association property where we have a joint tenancy.
I know that he'll have to pay child maintenance, but as my standard of living will have to change dramatically - I may have to downsize house (still housing association), change job, downgrade car, lifestyle... I have read about spousal maintenance? Can anyone tell me anything about this? Is it common?
And what even is the process with seperation and divorce? Do solicitors need to be involved if we don't own property? I'm sure there is a lot I don't know. A friend mentioned giving power of attorney to someone else until we're actually divorced so that if something happened to me, he doesn't have control? So many questions, so I'm just looking for some helpful tips and advice really as this will be a big change and I want to be sensible and not wish I had done such-and-such when it's too late!
I think finances are my main worry at the moment.
Thanks in advance!