33F, recently single! Anyone go through a similar situation and have a inspirational story for me to help cheer me up when my mood goes down?

[SadTexanChick]

So long story short, I left my ex two weeks ago because he was refusing to show any signs of real commitment after 3 years together. I am looking for someone to start a life together with, and he was not it.

I am 33 and my family is very traditional Indian and everyone is putting so much pressure on me right now about my age that it's putting me into a very very negative headspace.

I recently posted about this and some women were so sweet and shared some really positive stories with me. I was just wondering if anyone else would like to share something motivational for me to help me keep my mood uplifted?

I know finding my future DH is possible at 33, but I can't be positive I'll feel this way in the morning after talking to someone in family again about how at my age I "need to get married now or else it's all over for you."

Do your family have an expectation you'll marry someone from the same background? Or is it the idea of marriage?

For me I think its been about going inwards and exploring why past relationships haven't worked, what the patterns were, working out what I bring to a relationship and what my non negotiable are, and shifting from the mindset of ticking boxes on a treadmill of life and working on any personal growth.

Next step is focusing on practicalities of dating (and not wasting time on relationships that aren't working - you absolutely should be ruthless here regardless of age) and working out as quickly as possible if you share the same bigger values in life - not being sucked in by whether it looks great on paper or on the surface of things. Sometimes practicalities make a relationship too difficult initally (but it's worth not giving up if it has got longevity) because the good ones are rarer to find.

I left my narcissistic ex fiancé when I was 33 and, at the time, I thought I’d be single forever so it’s amazing that you’re still feeling positive about finding your future DH. My mum challenged me to go on fifty first dates before I gave up on the idea of finding my future DH. I reflected on my past partners and worked out a list of non negotiables, signed up to a load of dating apps and gave it a go. The pandemic got in the way and slowed things down a little, but I met my husband when I was 35 (he was date number 23). Things moved pretty quickly for us as we both knew we’d met ‘The One’. I’m now 39 and I’ve been married to the most amazing man for nearly two years. We have a wonderful life together, a lovely home and a beautiful five month old daughter. It absolutely can (and will) happen for you if you believe it will. For now, focus on sorting your head out and getting ready to date again (it can be a rough ride). Work out what your non negotiables are (but try not to be overly picky) and sign up to some dating apps. Go on as many dates as you can and see what happens. I wrote a diary about all of my dates and it still makes an interesting read. Some of the dates were funny (for the right and wrong reasons), some were disastrous and made me wonder what on earth I was doing, and obviously date number 23 was my favourite one of all ☺️