Single Mum Life

[RudeAwakening45]

Have any of you experienced that one relationship that tipped you over the age so much you feel you’re now destined to be alone? The thought of another person or attachment scares or even repulses you?
Need to hear your stories or thoughts! ❤️

Yep this is definitely me..been single three years now and no regrets. The only thing I miss is the occasional foot rub 😉

This is also me! Been single for 4 years with no intention of being involved with another man again. My ex husband was vile and I've been a solo parent to our twins since they were born, they are now 4. I don't have the time, head space, physical or emotional energy for another relationship and I'm actually fine with it. All of my relationships have been awful in one way or another and it's actually a relief to accept this is it and I don't need to keep trying to make a relationship work. I've made my peace with it and am definitely a better person for being single!

From a different perspective... My mum was by herself raising 3 children for around 14 years. We talk about this often.

She didn't trust any men around us and became so so so content with it being just us 4 that when she was ready years later to meet someone she has met the most wonderful man. He is so great to us and my mum says if she could go back and relive those years she would. I have to say we had a terrible father if you could call him that. He put us through hell and watching my mum overcome all that and lead by example gave me and my siblings such a happy childhood.

She also passed her life lessons on and taught me the importance of being independent but not closed of. Being kind but being clever and being patient but determined. Me and my siblings are still very close to our mum and step dad.

I can say mum dedicated those years to us whilst still having her own life but she loved being alone and not dealing with a man. Her standards were so high my step dad was the only one who met them. The result is we have stayed very close as a family and look back on what could have been half a terrible abusive childhood with mum dad and remember it as a safe and happy place with my mum.

I don’t have a crystal ball so can’t say if I ever have another relationship.
18 months since break up and enjoying the peace.
I have no desire to introduce anybody to my kids until they are much older.
I’m happy in my own company, friends are nearby.
I’m content 🙂

ExH was great until we had children, then turned into a dick.

ExP after him managed to manipulate me in ways I never thought possible. I'm not sure I'll ever trust another man again.

No, I don't wish to give up. Some ex relationships have paused me for a while, some longer than others. But, I'm optimistic. Whilst I'm happy being by myself, life is much nicer with someone else.

I miss the male company.

Wow!!! Word for word. This has been my experience too!

@OdiebayTotally inspired by your Mum. What a woman 🙌🏼, especially back at a time where single mums were far less accepted than they are now. (single mums are still stigmatised but not to the same extent, I believe)

Yes.I got divorced 20 years ago. A terrible marriage but I was young, busy with my children, working etc. I had to bounce back.

A few relationships since then, 3 of over a year.

The last was a 4 month relationship with someone I had been friends with for years. On paper, it looked great. Same friend group, both sensible, graduates, quiet etc.

Turns out he's a dreadful person, lazy, devious, incredibly manipulative (worst I've known), critical, lying. And married to a woman who lives abroad.

It's changed me as a person. I don't think I'll ever get back to normal.

Weirdly, as a grumpy, fat 49 year old, I've had 5 men beg me for sex since I broke up with the horrible man.

That's never happened before.

So it can't be obvious that I will say no!

Been single 5 years after a 9 month relationship and single for 2 years before that. Been a lone parent for 12 years. Relationships aren’t worth it.

I was like that. I'm married now but it took some adjustment to having a man live with me. I prefer being married to being single. But preferred being single to being with the father of my older kids ( who didn't live with us, complicated). I got rid of him and felt so free and like I didn't need anyone or anything. I love my DH to bits but I require more time in my own company than most. I don't think I'm built for relationships, I just got lucky and met my match.

Thank you for saying that. She really is
My dad beat her and my brothers dad did the same. She got out both times. So strong and independent now. She's such an advocate for women and I find my childhood friends gravitated towards her for advice and help. She just had that nature. Children are so much better off with a happy healthy minded parent that two parents in a miserable house!.

I was also in an abusive relationship, the father of my children. But I think the love had died so made it easier to leave. I didn't think id ever date again. My partner after him was a friend who i met under some strange circumstances which made me feel we were meant to be. He faded me out once then came back then it happened again, because he didn't want to share me (I have kids). This was after meeting them, family and friends. After this, i feel like there isn't any point with relationships as so disappointing.

I was a lone parenting from when my daughter was 1. I moved out as he was abusive narc and not seen him or spoken to him in 15 years. I spent 10 years single. I could not be less interested in men if I had tried. Focused on my daughter and career. Then I met someone about 5 years ago. I think the good thing about being happy on your own and single is just how high you set the bar and how good your boundaries are. We have been together 5 years. Only just now moving in together as both DC are at the right age and moment to do that. I have watched my partner for 5 years show me he is a fully independent adult and not one of these stupid men babies.

Being comfortable in your own company is the best gift you can give yourself.

Admittedly the break up of my ten year relationship only happened last week so there’s a possibility I might change my mind but I was a single parent from birth to five, during that time I spent three gruelling years on and off dating sites which just made me feel shit about myself.

Met recent ex, that not without various terrible issues, but I’ve always said I hate the way domesticity turns me into a shell of my true self so at 52 I can say I never want to live with a man again. And would only go on a date (some point in the distant future) to get laid .