Beckham family rift.

[Lupinz]

What advice would you give each of the family members - its a story as old as time. If your family has experience something similar whats the best way forward?

Stay out of it.

Without having any idea what the problems are….

Keep the lines of communication open & give it time. All families have their issues, just most don’t have to play them out in public.

Keep it out of the press

Have all parties together, at the same time to talk and listen to each other.

Often miscommunication is the source of misunderstanding. All being together allows thus to be explained from every ones point of view. No lies. No where to hide.

Once this has happened accept and respect each others views. These may be different to yours and that is ok.

It looks like tensions have been strained for some time with an escalation around the non attendance at any of DBs recent 50th Bday celebrations.

Its difficult if your family is already public property as it would be obvious to the press that B & N did not attend.

It seems the Beckham 'sources' have been filling the tabloids saying that VB refers to N P-B as 'the viper'.

I think this a HUGE mistake, even though I can understand her hurt and pain.

You really have to be non-reactive but wise and open in these situations. Any anger and frustration needs to be expressed and processed privately away from the other couple in order to have a chance of sorting this out. I think anything negtaive is just handing them the bullets to shoot you with and they will just turn their back. It also looks a bit enmeshed if BB's brothers are also involved.

Why do you care? Do you know them?

Are they just copying Haz 'n' Megz?... sounds same!

I think too many people assume Brooklyn and his wife are up themselves but maybe it's just that Dave and Vicky are just awful people and bad parents. Who knows but there are two sides to every story.

It's like Harry and Meghan. People seem to forget that the Royal Family are a rotten institution.

But nah, must be the kids fault. Must be dozy Baby Beckham and Evil Meghan innit. Sure, Jan, if that makes life easier for you.

I completely agree.

I agree that seems the binary / polar narrative of the UK media - but I suspect it is much more subtle and complex. I think its interesting if you are older than D&V or have seen this play out in your own extended family - its quite a tight rope and you need to be clear what you want and to play a long game if you want to keep your family together.

I dont necessarily see any parallels with Harry and Meghan at all - BB and NP-B havent spoken out to the press, I dont think, but the 'sources' from the Beckham camp calling NP-B 'the viper' is a very careless move.

As a DiL who ‘took the son away’, I always find it interesting in situations like this how often the onus is put onto the DiL figure. The media is pitting the two women against each other - they might dislike each other, Brooklyn might have fallen out with one or both parents, or this might be just the natural distancing of a newish adult from the family unit, who knows? But it’s so quickly become about Nicola and the implication that she’s the reason for the split, rather than allowing Brooklyn any agency in the decision.

I find the same with H&M tbh. She’s not my cup of tea, but she clearly couldn’t have forced Harry into making the decisions he’s taken. He’s an adult too, so why does the press narrative feel the need to a) apportion ‘blame’ and b) apportion it to the ‘cruel’ or ‘interloper’ DiL?

In most families it’s a little bit of each, isn’t it? Each side sees the other as the villain but it’s rarely that clear.

I agree it's always portrayed as the women at each others throats. Bizarrely I always thought NP-B was quite similar in demeanor to VB - quiet and demure so thought they would all get on great. It must be v sad for them all that they were unable to come together for DB birthday.

Probably read MN with many, many ‘I hate my MiL’ threads. Women pitting themselves against another woman. 🤔

I would say, try to look at the situation objectively, don’t blame one single person as the ‘source’ of all the problems…. and if you are the person who is being blamed - as is so often the case with daughters in law - be prepared to step back entirely.

DH’s family are screwed up. Very immature, demanding, narcissistic mum. Slightly inept, henpecked dad. Kids packed off to boarding school at 7. DH has a younger brother who was always jealous of him. They weren’t encouraged to be close.

Over a decade ago, a big family row kicked off - I won’t bore you with details. Somehow in the fallout of this I ended up being blamed as the reason for all their problems, despite the fact they’d obviously had family issues since long before I met DH!

It was pretty awful for me and for DH. He wanted to retain a relationship with them despite how nasty they were to me. This risked becoming a point of conflict between us, and then I thought, right - I will step back from this entirely. Let them think whatever about me, I don’t care. I don’t have to deal with their nonsense. Let them deal with their own issues.

Guess what? DH now has very minimal contact with parents and doesn’t talk to his brother - and none of this has anything to do with me.

Why would you care?
It’s second and third hand gossip about a nonentity whose parents are famous. Nothing you ‘hear’ is likely to bear any resemblance to the truth.

I came on here thinking why what’s going on with the Beckhams? I thought I would find out to this thread. But all I’m thinking now is…Who is NP-B?

Been there done that. Mil walked out on small kids, went off with another man. DH had phycological and mental health issues for years. His f got custody,he didn't see m for 20 years, relationship always strained and on HER terms. He told me she doesn't back down, forgive or forget (even when she is in the wrong) forbidden to mention her walking out! If we did as we were told all ok, then taking over our wedding, ruining it, then same with my ds(not DH child and basically nothing to do with mil) lots of lies told mainly about me,there was proof of what was said about me,e mails, texts, which my DH saw, which were denied,texts to. My DD, which were denied.He elected to go no contact with the lot of them, almost 20 years ago. Stuff has come to light from other family members who see them, which just proves what vipers they are, telling lies about eachother.

I have a brother I was close to growing up. When he met his now wife about 30 years ago it all changed. Now after years of him cutting contact, then being in contact and being vile etc. etc. he openly hates me (and has told me so - but can't say why). It's bizarre and has been very upsetting over the years.

Whenever I mention this to other people, people always blame his wife (who is a very difficult person), but I have to correct them and say it's his choice to behave in the way he does. I don't blame his wife - I think she's not a nice person, but it was my brother's choice to act how he has

People often blame the spouse. My siblings absolutely blame DH for me standing up to them. He gets the blame for "splitting the family" - not eldest brother for his physical violence, not other brother for his constant excuses for elder and not my sister for actively encouraging eldest brother because she finds his rages funny.

Nope, it's all the fault of DH because he "allowed" me to ban them all from our home and for not being a flying monkey and supporting my choice to cut contact.

It's Nicola Peltz, Brooklyn's wife.