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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My Sister in law and my husband

31 replies

prettydaisies88 · 14/05/2025 16:56

My husband talks to his Mom and Sister (mainly Sister) multiple times a day calls can go for as long as over an hour. This mainly goes on during his work day. He is a tow truck driver on the road all day so I noticed he has a routine now where his sister will call him as early as 7am it’s usually her calling him. And some days it is multiple calls a day 30 min calls to over an hour. Mind you she does not like me she only says hi to me nothing else when we are at family gatherings I have tried and tried to get along with her it’s just not gonna happen. She is his little sister which i understand but she is 32 married with 2 kids. I’m pretty sure she is closer to my man than she is to her own seeing how much they talk. I have tried to overlook this and I just can’t seem to get over it. After all I am the one who cares for him, cooks for him, packs his lunch and the list goes on. We don’t have kids together. He also does not tell me what they talk about it seems secretive he swears he doesn’t tell her anything about our relationship but there’s times she’ll call and if I’m there he will not answer until he’s alone or when I’m not there. We’ve only been together for 2 years will it get better? I’ll add that they do live in the same city we see his family multiple times a week and mainly every weekend. His family always says how they have so much in common and that she is the girl version of him. They are even the same sign which they brag about too. She also threw a fit when we told her we were getting married. He husband does not help the situation on the contrary he always sides with her and even eggs her on about how he is “he big brother” giving her reason for her to be “this close” with him.

OP posts:
OneFineDay13 · 14/05/2025 22:05

I find this really weird and creepy tbey talk this often! Especially if you actually see them in person too each week

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/05/2025 22:16

prettydaisies88 · 14/05/2025 21:49

in our culture we cater to our husbands it’s just kinda the law for us and I don’t mind doing it we have our routine and it works for us. To each their own but it’s just his family that is the problem. His sister being the main problem.

You're not in the 1950s! What does he do for you? He certainly doesn't stick up for you against his family.

prettydaisies88 · 14/05/2025 22:17

myplace · 14/05/2025 21:53

It would be rude of him to be talking to her on the phone while he’s with you, though. Surely? If he was on the phone for an hour to her while you were there you’d be unimpressed.

He talks to her when he has nothing else on.

This is a very good point! He may just talk to her at that point because it’s when we are not together he doesn’t have much going on 🤔

OP posts:
prettydaisies88 · 14/05/2025 22:20

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/05/2025 22:16

You're not in the 1950s! What does he do for you? He certainly doesn't stick up for you against his family.

Very good point! I think I should stop doing all of these things for him what if he is just with me for the convenience of being taken care of 🤔

OP posts:
HeyPooPooHead · 14/05/2025 22:22

Truck driving is long and lonely, seems nice he chats to his mum and sister. With such a close and closed relationship no wonder they find it hard to include another woman in the group. Hopefully your relationships will grow with time, if it’s just the sister being silly I’d ignore her sillyness and
focus on getting to know mum.

ihatethongs · 14/05/2025 22:32

No offence, I’m guessing your partner is from an ethnic minority?
Unfortunately, it’s very common in certain cultures for families to be like this.
We are Iranian, and my sister has the same problem with her husband.
He is very close to his family, too close. They have to spend every weekend and every single holiday with his family. My sister isn’t happy.

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