Sad about my marriage

[paradiseo]

We have known each other basically our whole lives, got together 7 years ago, been married 4 years, we have two dc.

i think my feelings have changed for him so much I don’t know how to stay in my marriage, we sleep separately in different rooms due both of us being snorers, plus he tosses and turns all night waking me up, I’m a stay at home mum to dc and he works from 8am until 5pm 6 days a week.

we moved a year ago to another part of the country for his work and I have any close friends or family nearby so I spend all my time with the dc (both under 4) I’m really introverted so I don’t make friends very easily, when DH comes home from work we have dinner, put kids to bed and go out separate ways. We are both so exhausted in the evenings to even muster up the energy to waych a film together, he helps with the dc and does his fair share of housework, he works in a really stressful job and often loses patience with the dc and raises his voice, this really annoys me as I feel he shouldn’t be shouting at toddlers. I’m really depressed tonight and want to just live on my own. One of our dc has a lifelong health condition and the only reason I’ve been staying in my marriage is because is couldn’t cope with dc on my own. I know I sound really pathetic but I’m trying to be honest.

Can You explain Why could not Cope? Maby somebody has ideas to overcome Them..

My son is type 1 diabetic and has low blood sugar at least twice a night, he refuses point blank to eat anything to bring it up unless his dad gives it to him, also some days he refuses to eat his evening meal unless his dad is at home with us having dinner.
i struggle really badly to cope since his diagnosis and I’ve been depending so much on DH with it all. He just takes it in his stride whereas I get extremely stressed and panicked if dc doesn’t eat after I’ve given him insulin, or if I give the insulin after his meal his blood glucose goes through the roof

How long ago were things good between you? Can you get back to that, make an effort to spend time together even in short bursts? Do you want things to improve, do you think he does? Not long ago you chose to have two children with the man, you presumably loved each other, wanted to spend your lives together, create a family, grow old together?

What can you do for yourself to make friends, build in time for something you enjoy? Feeling so dependent on him can’t feel good. I know there’s loads of questions, sorry if they’re not helpful.

things started to change after dc’s diagnosis, we are no longer man and wife, more like dr and nurse. Theres no romance, no flowers, meals out are too stressful with two screaming kids so just stay in and get a takeaway, we don’t have any child care so we never get any time together alone.

You’re in the thick of it with wee ones and a child with an illness. Cut yourselves some slack… and think about what worked when things were good. And see if you can carve out a little time to recreate such things or to find similar but different activities to rekindle and reconnect. I think for so many (not all!) women, we change fundamentally when we become mums but men don’t really change in a similar way- their lives just kind of expand to fit in everything they did before plus being a dad but often women lose a lot to become mums… as much as we gain a lot through the process too. So being a couple and parents can be tricky and take some work.. add in tiredness and unwell kids… it’s hard.

Doht throw it away or think this isn’t survivable…

Could the work set up between you be looked at? Being a sahm to 2 DC with a husband out of the house 6 full days a week is going to be lonely and isolating.

Why the 6 days? Can you work a bit, give you some time with adults and without DC