Navigating separation following infidelity

[anonamum123]

Hi all,

How does everyone coparent amicably with a cheating partner? He left less than two weeks ago, is asking to reconcile, saying he made huge mistakes and it’s totally out of character for him… but I am so angry everytime I see him, I feel like I could physically hurt him?! I’m not a violent person, and I’m not angry when he’s not around - equally I’m very sad because my children are devastated he’s left, and don’t know what’s going on. He’s told them he doesn’t want to leave, which makes it look like it’s my decision?! Just because I can’t be around him after he cheated on me for almost a year and I kept finding out?!

I don’t know how to navigate the next bit? With ease, without making rash decisions like divorce immediately?

i know im not the first person to experience this, but how do i just be happy, and will i be even more upset if he stops trying?

Greyrock is the solution. As difficult as it can be to bite your tongue sometimes, try not to show even a flicker of emotion towards him.

@anonamum123Going through something similar at the moment, it’s so hard :( feel free to message me.

A year?!? That’s not huge mistakes… that’s a whole year of deciding every single day of it to not choose you or his family or his life but to deceive and choose himself and his penis.

Tell him he’s a dad and he needs to act like one- he keeps the kids out of it and starts making parenting schedules that suit you and him. He stops talking to you about anything except the kids for now and until you decide otherwise.

You get yourself some supper and possibly a master of you are wanting to divorce (which would be more than reasonable of you). You owe him nothing.

Sadly I've been there. You will feel such a variety of big emotions. You just have to ride them out. Talk to trusted friends (or mumsnet). None of this is your fault. You've done nothing wrong. Protect yourself & your own interests first. You don't owe him another chance.