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Original poster

Confused about husband's Instagram

4 replies

Mama2255 · 12/05/2025 22:40

So I don't know where else to go because I just feel really confused and lost. So I recently found out my husband has an Instagram and has had it for a few years. He only follows 4 people, one that seems odd because it's a random woman with one post and it's like her back up account. I think she's an influencer. The others were political stuff that he follows. I'm not proud of this, but I looked through his phone, something I've never done before. Primarily because I was feeling insecure about this girl that used to work for him, she's very pretty and seems like they got along very well. He has her on Facebook and Snapchat. There wasn't anything inappropriate in their messages. But I saw that he had looked up her Instagram, but never followed her. Her account isn't private. I also noticed his feed is nothing but thirst traps of girls. Then I looked in his link history and he had 2 links to onlyfans of this randon girl from Saturday night. It's currently Monday. I know he doesn't have an onlyfans because there's nothing in his email and he couldn't pay for it because we're very broke and have a shared bank account. Also, would like to mention that he's barely on Instagram, it says 6 minutes average a day. But the night he clicked on the only fans link, he was active for 20 minutes and it was fron 3am-4am. I'm just so lost and confused. I don't think he's cheating on me, I never have thought that. But something about this just doesn't sit right with me and makes me uncomfortable. I wouldn't really care if he watches porn, or has his "alone time" but something about Instagram thirst traps just feels different and wrong. "Alone time" isn't something we talk about let alone talking about if we watch porn or not. But we only have sex once a month because of my health issues. Which I've been struggling with for a year now. So I'm worried he's trying to find something else to entertain him and I'm just really worried and down. Any advice would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
GeorgianaM · 12/05/2025 22:45

He sounds bored and is on the fringe of looking elsewhere rather than try and improve his relationship with you.

littlepinkbow · 12/05/2025 23:51

Personally, I would end things, not because he’s done anything particularly wrong, but because you don’t trust him.

A few things to note:

instagram uses algorithms. SocIsl media has a wealth of data for all users, the most important being, age and sex = show videos which will keep the user engaged for as long as possible. Also, only one or two videos need to be watched for a constant stream of similar videos to appear. Let’s be honest, very few men will not watch a sexy video on socials , and once they’ve seen one or two, that’s it. It’s not porn.

Talking about porn…..it’s good you don’t mind if he watches porn because he almost certainly will be watching porn, especially if you are only being intimate once a month - which isn’t your fault BTW. Also, if he watches porn, Which as we’ve already established he probably does, then this will only add to the algorithm Instagram uses - the internet is a spider web of connections.

And what are Instagram thirst traps?

Original poster
Mama2255 · 13/05/2025 00:25

littlepinkbow · 12/05/2025 23:51

Personally, I would end things, not because he’s done anything particularly wrong, but because you don’t trust him.

A few things to note:

instagram uses algorithms. SocIsl media has a wealth of data for all users, the most important being, age and sex = show videos which will keep the user engaged for as long as possible. Also, only one or two videos need to be watched for a constant stream of similar videos to appear. Let’s be honest, very few men will not watch a sexy video on socials , and once they’ve seen one or two, that’s it. It’s not porn.

Talking about porn…..it’s good you don’t mind if he watches porn because he almost certainly will be watching porn, especially if you are only being intimate once a month - which isn’t your fault BTW. Also, if he watches porn, Which as we’ve already established he probably does, then this will only add to the algorithm Instagram uses - the internet is a spider web of connections.

And what are Instagram thirst traps?

Thank you, I need to do a lot of thinking. We've been together since 2017 and he's never shown any worrying behavior. But to answer your questions, thirst traps are videos woman post of themselves acting sexy and dancing essentially.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mama2255 · 13/05/2025 00:54

littlepinkbow · 12/05/2025 23:51

Personally, I would end things, not because he’s done anything particularly wrong, but because you don’t trust him.

A few things to note:

instagram uses algorithms. SocIsl media has a wealth of data for all users, the most important being, age and sex = show videos which will keep the user engaged for as long as possible. Also, only one or two videos need to be watched for a constant stream of similar videos to appear. Let’s be honest, very few men will not watch a sexy video on socials , and once they’ve seen one or two, that’s it. It’s not porn.

Talking about porn…..it’s good you don’t mind if he watches porn because he almost certainly will be watching porn, especially if you are only being intimate once a month - which isn’t your fault BTW. Also, if he watches porn, Which as we’ve already established he probably does, then this will only add to the algorithm Instagram uses - the internet is a spider web of connections.

And what are Instagram thirst traps?

Also I just wanted to say that I do trust him. I know it may not seem like it, but I do. I just think that my depression has gotten really bad the past few months due to a thyroid issue I've been having amongst other health issues that have popped up in the last year. I had to quit my job due to my health issues and I'm in the process of getting surgery. I'm worried I've been depressed and insecure which led me to feel the need to look. I feel so guilty about it, but I've never done that or felt the need to in the past 7 years we've been together. I've just been in my head way too much and really struggling with my own mental health.

OP posts:
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